It
is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy
marriages.
Nietzsche
I’ve attended weddings
inworld and blogged about them. (Which BTW seem to be on the rise.)
But, I’ve never blogged about
marriage in SL. (Significant Other
wonders where this is going and hopes that I don’t embarrass us.)
Recently, I met a couple
inworld who were celebrating their first wedding anniversary.
My three loyal readers may
recall Charlie from my recent story about his nudist resort inworld, Isla
de Amores.
(I also want to take this
opportunity to apologize to Natasha for failing to mention her in that
story. She is Charlie’s partner and
co-manager of the resort. Since I hadn’t
met her during the interview and didn’t have her permission to mention her, I
hadn’t. Significant Other smacks me on
the side of my head.)
I thought this would be a good
opportunity to show another facet of life inworld and Charlie and Natasha
kindly agreed to an interview with me about the subject of marriage in SL. This is their story.
They met after Natasha had
just come back from a six month hiatus from SL a few months before and she just
had a small parcel of land with some friends whom she chatted with. Natasha was only online a few times a
week.
Charlie was hanging out at a
nude beach as he puts it.
The beach was Dreamer's
and this is where they first met.
Natasha says she saw Charlie saw him there often for weeks but didn’t
speak to him as she rarely IMs strangers.
But, as Natasha says, they hit
it off very quickly once they started to talk.
The icebreaker appears to have been Charlie having a picture of his Real
Life (RL) dog in his profile and that is what prompted her to talk to him. (Seems they both like German Shepherds. They also both have an interest in history
but it was definitely the dog that got things going.)
As for the idea of marriage
itself, Charlies says that they figured it was the right thing to do because they
liked each other.
Natasha says that she had
never even thought about partnering before and she never thought that she would
do it. But, she explains changing her
mind simply by saying that she fell in love.
(Significant Other warns me not to make any jokes here.)
Natasha continues, adding that
she knew she didn't want to be without Charlie.
Also, she has old fashioned values, and really didn’t want to share a
home without a commitment.
(Needless to say, Charlie’s
been beaming as Natasha talks about their courtship!)
Once Charlie started to talk
about getting a home together inworld, Natasha told him her feelings about that. And, he thought partnering sounded like the
right thing to do. They went ring
shopping two days after they decided to get married. Charlie adds that the courtship was fun and
they decided to get married at Franks
Elite.
When asked if this was
romantic or just a business partnering, as many do inworld, Charlie and Natasha
reply simultaneously (Not the easiest thing to do inworld.) that there was no
business involved at all.
Natasha just says that they
were in love and she would never partner for a business reason.
Natasha describes their
wedding ceremony as lovely. Charlie adds
that it was the best wedding in SL as far as he’s concerned. Natasha’s two best friends were the maid of
honor and bridesmaid.
Another friend was
the best man, while another friend gave her away.
She laughingly describes it as a formal
wedding.
Natasha feels very lucky to
have two close woman friends to stand up for her and to have had them as
friends for seven years.
Charlie and Natasha also had a
reception with cake, a DJ, and everything as she puts it. Approximately twenty people attended. Most of Natasha’s close friends were in the
wedding party. Many of Charlie’s old
friends from Wild Coast were in attendance.
Neither Charlie nor Natasha
are married in RL although she’s recently divorced.
So, when asked what's married
life like inworld compared to RL, Natasha said she could answer that. She feels much closer to Charlie emotionally
than she did to her RL ex. She explains
further that she would not have gotten so close to Charlie if her RL
relationship had been a good one.
Charlie and Natasha try to spend
as much time together as their RL schedules allow. Sometimes his work keeps him AFK a lot and
other times she travels in RL so they don't see each other as much as they
would like. But both are committed to
making their marriage work, so it does.
Which is pretty much what any relationship is like whether inworld or in
RL, IMHO.
Charlie continues saying that
they do everything a regular couple in RL does including sex of course. Natasha explains that sometimes they don't
get much "alone" time because things are busy at Charlie's office in
RL, but they usually are able to fit some in.
Charlie adds with a smile as often as they can and have attempted to set
records at it when they have the time.
Their sex lives are only
inworld but let’s just say that there is RL satisfaction. (I’m still not that type of blog!) They haven’t met in RL but do talk by voice
almost every day. (For the record,
Natasha was shy on this point but Charlie freely spoke about it. Must be a guy thing.)
One aspect of Charlie’s and
Natasha’s SL marriage is that they are monogamous inworld which I’ve found to
not too common.
Charlie says that he’s come to
understand this. But, Natasha does know
other couples who are also monogamous.
Given the nudist resort that they live in I especially found this
different. Natasha’s explanation is that
the sim has evolved to what it is and they
are both just the monogamous type.
And, Charlie adds that nudity does not mean
there will always be
sex.
Natasha says that she has no interest in anyone else.
As for having sex out in the
open at a nudist resort, Charlie says he’s sure they’ve been witnessed and
Natasha coyly admits to a little exhibitionism on their part. It’s not a big deal for them. Neither of them has any interest in voyeurism
with their guests.
Charlie says that he doesn’t
watch people, but he does like to see where people choose to have sex because
that gives him an idea of what furniture and locations some prefer when they
visit. He has no problem with people
watching them because he’s only focusing on Natasha.
As for the difficulty of being
faithful to one another given what SL can be like and where they live, Charlie says
that it’s not hard. Natasha adds that
it’s not at all difficult. She’s in love with Charlie and he is the only man
she wants. Fidelity is easy when you have a strong attachment.
Some of the difficulties of
married life are the same that couples experience everywhere. Natasha says it can be frustrating when they
are limited on time and they have had issues with other people causing silly
drama. What Charlie calls typical SL
drama. She didn’t go into detail, just
because it might cause more silly drama.
On a personal level, Natasha doesn’t
recommend marriage inworld in general.
For her, there is only one Charlie and he is the only man in SL worth
marrying in her opinion. If both parties
are committed it can be a good thing she adds.
Natasha believes that they have a more permanent type of a relationship
than a lot of people who are partnered in SL.
Charlie simply says that he
likes having Natasha as his wife. He
desires no one else.
Charlie and Natasha are a
happily married couple in SL.
They have successfully
leveraged SL to enhance RL with this very special relationship that they have. Maybe
we’ll be seeing more of these long term relationships inworld. Only time will tell!
I wish them well and
congratulate them on their first anniversary again and hope that they have many
more!
I’d also like to thank both
Charlie and Natasha for taking the time to meet with me for this interview and
their very frank and candid answers to my questions!
I’d also like to thank them
for permission to use their wedding photos with this story.
Now, is there anyone else out
there celebrating a wedding anniversary?
Please let me know, I’d love
to meet you too!
As always, I’m grateful to all
inworld for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was
passing through their lives.
My Twitter handle is @webspelunker. Please feel free to follow me and I’d be
happy to follow you.
I can be found on Google+ as
webspelunker Ghostraven.
My flickr Photostream is
located here.
On Skype I’m webspelunker
Ghostraven.
Open roads
and kind fires!
