Are You Ever Afraid in Second Life?

 

An unpleasant emotion caused by being aware of danger : a feeling of respect and wonder for something very powerful.

Definition of “afraid” from Merriam-Webster  

 

What is fear? 

(Significant Other already doesn’t like where this one is going.)

OK, we’ve all been afraid at one time or another.

In Real Life (RL), we experience nightmares, (No, I’m not Significant Other’s!) we go to horror films, or we go to staff meetings where we work.  (Sorry, hope I didn’t freak anyone

out with that last one.)

But, what about Second Life (SL)?

Have you ever been afraid inworld?

Let’s talk about that!

I believe that there are two types of fear in SL.

The first type is the good type, it’s fun and innocent.

(Significant Other would like to remind everyone who is making this statement.)

We go to scary places during Halloween.   

Or, there was the time a “good” friend locked in a fun house inworld with a bunch of homicidal clowns.  (Significant Other almost made me stop going inworld after that one.)

Or, any number of experiences and places that are created for us to scare ourselves.  We know it’s not real.  We place ourselves there voluntarily and can walk away whenever we want.

Then there’s the other type, the bad.

The bad is when others go about harming others and the victims are become fearful. 

What am I talking about?

I’m talking about bullying, sexism, homophobia, and harassment.

The victims of these behaviors become afraid.

They either don’t return to SL or they modify their behaviors to avoid the fear and have a less than enjoyable experience inworld accordingly. 

Let’s talk about that last point for a moment.

Whenever good, decent residents who could add to the community in any number of ways curtail their participation because they’re fearful then we all lose.

Who knows what the implications are for these victims?

Many are already fearful in RL.  SL behaviors can have an adverse effect on their RL situations. 

All this contributes to a coarsening of our culture in both SL and and RL.

(Lord knows, the recent US Presidential campaign has shown us just how coarse things can get.)

Why do people do this to other people?

Alright, I know, if I could answer this question then I won’t need my day job.

I’m going to take a stab anyway.

The anonymity we all enjoy inworld gives some a feeling of empowerment that they can get away with things inworld that they would never do in RL. 

There’s the objectification of victims.  (SL really seems to let this one run wild.)

But, what do we do about this?

We can’t just stand by and watch helplessly.

We have to call out this behavior and let people know it’s wrong. 

We have to support its victims, befriend them, and bring them into our groups.

Both SL and RL are at a crossroads now, let’s not lose this chance to show some decency somewhere, even if it’s only virtual!

(Significant Other likes how this one turned out, was afraid I was going to do something stupid.)

As always, I’m grateful to all inworld for their kindness and time in stopping to talk

with a stranger who was passing through their lives. 

My Twitter handle is @webspelunker.  Please feel free to follow me and I’d be happy to follow you.

I can be found on Google+ as webspelunker Ghostraven.

My flickr Photostream is located here.

On Skype I’m webspelunker Ghostraven.

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

          If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.

          Open roads and kind fires!

Bullying in Second Life

 

If you turn and face the other way when someone is being bullied, you might as well be the bully too.

 

Anonymous

 

          I don’t like bullies.

          There I said it.  As you can tell, I’m going to do something I don’t do too often in this blog, get up on my soapbox.  Why?  Well, for one thing, twice in the last week or so, I received notices from sims I’ve visited recently, Ancient Alexandria and Naked,  informing group members about recent incidents that can only be described as bullying.  (And no, I wasn’t the perpetrator.) 

          Those occurrences and Significant Other suggesting I write about bullying in Second Life (SL) when I’d mentioned I needed a new story idea when an interview had to be rescheduled.  (Don’t worry, that story’s still coming and it’ll be fun!)  Significant Other had been bullied when younger and has been on a crusade on the subject ever since. 

          In RL, bullying is one person or persons making someone else’s life unbearable either physically or psychologically.  (Yes, I know there are more clinical definitions but as a former bullied person myself, I reserve the right to call it as I see it.)  The results of this behavior range from the victim being miserable, avoiding places where he or she has every right to be, or the extreme of suicide.  (I warned you I was going to get on my soapbox with this one.) 

          Until recently, bullying’s been regarded as a rite of passage, something to be endured.  Kids were told to suck it up and grow up.  But, now, people are challenging this idea.  (As I’ve always suspected, the bullied greatly outnumber the bullies.)   People get bullied at all stages of their lives for all sorts of reasons.  Bullying isn’t just something that happened on Leave It to Beaver reruns. 

          Bullying is not limited to the playground among children.  It happens in the business world among adults, in the military, and in academia.  The reasons, I don’t like using that word because it implies logic, vary from being perceived as vulnerable; different because of race, gender, or sexual orientation; or just pure meanness on the part of the bully.  (When you write about it this way, it really sounds really ugly and senseless doesn’t it?) 

          Now, some may ask how bad can bullying be in SL?  After all, it’s only a game, right?  These are only avatars, right?

          One of the first things I learned when I arrived inworld was that there are real people with real feelings behind all the avatars.  Some of these people are vulnerable.  Very vulnerable.  They come into SL to try and have an experience that they can’t have in RL for whatever reason.  I don’t think any of them expect or want to be bullied.  (I’ll exclude from this those members of the BDSM community who enjoy that type of behavior.) 

          Let’s talk about inworld bullying behaviors for a moment.  Rudeness, insults, harassment, and griefing are all examples of bullying inworld.  (I’ve probably missed a few but it’s bad enough as it is.)  Look no one’s expecting people to be boy or girl scouts inworld but there has to be some semblance of order and civility regarding relationships among residents.  Otherwise, the whole Grid just dissolves into a virtual version of Animal House.  (OK, there’s probably a sim for that too but it’s OK as long as they stay on the reservation.) 

          So what do we do about bullying in SL?

          First, if you’ve been bullied don’t let the bullies win.  Come back to wherever you want to be and are entitled to be.  Block them and turn them off.  Report the bullies to the sim and groups owners and operators.  Reach out to others for support.  Finally, report them to Linden Lab (LL). 

          For the rest of us, when we see bullying, we should call it out.  Bullies don’t like crowds.  If we’re sim owners and group operators then let’s take the action Ancient Alexandria and Naked did and ban bullies and let the community know that this behavior won’t be tolerated.  Finally, all of us should be letting LL know when there is bullying.  I don’t want to blame LL for this.  But without proper feedback, LL can do little.  Also, hearing from the rest of us, let’s let them know where we stand on this issue. 

          Yes, I know bullies may use alt’s but if there is continual pushback they’ll tire of the game soon enough. 

          Finally, my readers (all six of you) probably aren’t bullies.  I suspect that not too many bullies will read this story and even if they did not much would come of it.   But, I just felt I had to say something.  If you read this please think about it the next time you see someone bullyied in SL and do something about it! 

 As always, I’m grateful to all for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives.

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

     If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.