A healthy social
life is found only, when in the
mirror of each soul the whole community finds its reflection, and when in the
whole community the virtue of each one is living.
Rudolf Steiner
After my last story about friendship in Second
Life
(SL) I began to think about what things friends do while together in SL. This led me to start thinking (About this
point is where Significant Other starts to worry.) some more about what are
these “things” friends do together in SL.
Essentially, it’s a social life isn’t it?
We have social lives in Real Life (RL)
don’t we? Why not in SL? (This is where some of my RL friends start
saying I’m spending too much time inworld.)
My earlier ruminations about community
explored what communities inworld were like and their connections to RL. So, if we accept communities and friends in
SL why can’t we say we have social lives inworld?
What is a social life in SL like?
I submit that we come together to engage
in shared interests, we use words to share the experiences, and we have
emotional responses to these interactions just as we do in RL. Yes, it is virtual. And, it is anonymous. How many people in SL use their RL
identities? Not many. Yet, we’re having social experiences and interactions
which, in my opinion, comprise a social life.
Do the differences make a
difference? Virtual versus real? I’m not so sure. Once upon a time, RL people had relationships
for years based on letters sent by ship all over the world. (Anyone remember pen pals?)
Sometimes they never met.
Sometimes they did and even got married.
I’ve never heard of anyone denying the validity of these relationships
or claiming this was a game and not a legitimate social activity. In essence, this was a social life for the
participants or part of a larger one. (In fact, it still is because there are still many pen pals out
there.)
Does the anonymity of SL make a
difference? Why would it? Maybe people engage in behaviors inworld that
they wouldn’t in RL because of the anonymity.
(Believe me. I don’t go to nudist functions or BDSM clubs in RL. I’m not being judgmental. I’d probably be
tossed out if I showed up.) Some researchers believe that this
anonymity causes a lack of honesty in virtual relationships which precludes a “real”
social life. I’m not convinced. As long as all participants accept the rules
of engagement (i.e., avatars with fictional names), I don’t think it’s
important. It’s a level playing field
for all engaged. A person’s RL characteristics which may be
detrimental to a RL social life don’t have to exist in SL. (How many morbidly obese avatars have you
encountered inworld?)
One recurring theme I encounter from
residents as I travel across the grid is the importance of being sensitive
about the feelings of the person behind the avatar. This is more important than the anonymity of
virtual relationships. If people are
treated with dignity and respect inworld then there is a basis for a social
life because people feel safe, comfortable, and return for the experience and
seek out their friends again.
OK, if one accepts that there is a
social life in SL, how can one have a social life in SL? What comprises a social life in RL? For me (Yes, I do have one in RL which
permits me a perspective even if Significant Other does claim my half isn’t
holding up its end.) it’s friends, going
to places with them, and doing things with them once you get there. A social life is spontaneous although some planning
doesn’t hurt. Regularity is also another
aspect of a social life. Coming together and having these common experiences.
Finally, should one have a social life
in SL? Why not? Virtual social lives are just another aspect
of the Internet age. A healthy RL social
life can only grow with a virtual social life.
From pen pals, we moved onto telephones then chat rooms on bulletin
boards, followed by AOL, well,
you get the idea. Aren’t these all just
enhancements to what we do in RL?
Like anything else in life, whether RL
or SL, balance is necessary. We’ve all
heard the anecdotes about guys (Why is always guys?) in basements living on
Cheeze Doodles and Jolt soda who only see life via their broadband
connection. But, the advantages when
done practically are that we can safely meet people from all over the world and
engage in activities not possible for many in RL. (Get your mind out of the gutter, I’m talking
about the music, art, machinima, dance, and other creative
pursuits that people engage in when inworld.
Trust me without SL and the Internet, not too many would be reading what
I write.)
As for the anonymity, maybe we don’t
know whom we’re socializing with, but, the checks and balances of virtual
worlds protect us. Inworld, I don’t
worry about getting cracked in the head and having my wallet lifted. Although, I’m told some of the role playing
sims do get a little rough. That aside,
we can take risks in SL that wouldn’t be prudent in RL. For that matter, do we even know whom we’re
meeting in RL all the time? The stakes
are a lot higher there.
Other social media like Facebook and Twitter enhance the social
life experience in SL. Many residents
use these tools to stay in contact with their SL friends like they do their RL
ones. Will we someday see a blurring of
the distinction between SL and RL social lives?
Might we one day bring our SL friends together with our RL ones for
parties or other social functions? Think
about it.
In closing, I believe we’re still in the very
early stages of SL social lives or any other virtual world. Rules of conduct and etiquette are still
being formulated. New worlds will arise and old worlds will fall.
What’s your social life in SL
like? I’m very interested in hearing
from my readers about how they spend their time inworld with their
friends. If I have enough interest maybe
we can meet inworld to talk about this in a forum or a panel. Please send me your thoughts!
As always, I’m grateful to all for their
kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through
their lives.
Below are a few pictures of some of the
communities I’ve visited inworld chosen to just show some of SL’s
diversity.
I welcome feedback from readers, please
either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com .
If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.
If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.
Photo
No. 1 Vampyr
Empire Landing Pentagram
Photo
No. 2 View
from Steampunk Airship Tower
Photo
No. 3 Luskwood,
Furry Sim
Photo
No. 4 Lost
City of Gothika – Ruins
Photo
No. 5 Vampire
Wedding Party
Photo
No. 6 STEAM:
The Hunt!5 – Wrap Party
Photo
No. 7 Nowaki
1 comment:
Things I do in SL with friends (and sometimes by myself) are go to live music shows, visit art museums, do hunts for free stuff (two pairs of eyes looking for a hunt marker are better than one!), go to classes on building things, participate in discussions about writing and books, and sometimes just sit and chat about things going on in our lives. Socializing is being with people enjoying a common activity. Whether my body is physically in the same room as others isn't really the point, except I can't taste virtual food.
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