Still Among the Submissives!

There’s something very sexy about being submissive.  Because your guard is down, you have to totally surrender to something like that.

Eva Longoria

Last week I continued my journey in the BDSM community in Second Life (SL) by visiting some clubs inworld with a friend.  (Surprisingly, she’s still talking to me.)  Earlier blogs had me visiting with SL submissives, Flame Tearfall, and Anu Sands.  This week I visit with another sub, Akasha Sternberg.  (I know, I know, when am I going to interview a dom or a domme, or the ever elusive switch?  I’m working on it and will have some soon.)

I met Akasha a short while ago while making my way through the SL community in the Metaverse.  She’s been a regular reader of my blogs for a while.  We began talking and I learned that she was involved with the BDSM lifestyle inworld.  Initially, Akasha was reluctant to be quoted in an interview about BDSM because she is trying to establish herself as a model in SL and was concerned about the repercussions of being associated with BDSM.  Then, recently, she IM’d me and said that she had to be who she was and if anyone didn’t like it then tough. She agreed to do the interview.  (SL may be a virtual world but society’s pressures seem to be the same whether inworld or in Real Life (RL).)  We scheduled a time for the interview and I’m pleased to bring Akasha’s story to my readers in this blog. 

Akasha and I meet at her office at the Ataahua Oceanic Modeling Agency Headquarters.  It´s a fairly young agency and she’s one of the directors.  Rank has its privileges even in SL.  The offices are nicely appointed in an Asian motif.  (At least, I think it’s Asian.  Apologies if the designer had something else in mind.)  Akasha is dressed casually and sits on a cushion on the floor while I take a chair.  (No, I’m not trying to assert dominance, it’s just that I still have problems with sitting and furniture inworld.)  Akasha is OOC for this interview. 

We begin by speaking about her involvement with BDSM in SL.  Akasha explains she’s only slightly involved with the lifestyle inworld.  She’s had a few owners, was partnered to one but never went through any training, was a slave or “something”.  Her experiences have been more role playing based.

               Akasha’s SL profile indicates she is interested in being a switch and I next ask her about this.  She explains that basically, yes, though most recently she seems to turn more and more into a sub because she doesn’t have the slightest motivation in being the top. She received an offer the other day to be the top and it made her laugh because the thought was so off to her. Akasha has switched with her RL boyfriend in the past, or rather started as the Dom part but, she likes the sub-side better.  Even though she claims to be very “bratty” (her word not mine) and will never be a slave or even a doormat.  (I still have a lot to learn about the various degrees of submission.)  Laughing, Akasha adds that she does have her “dommy” moments though. 

I’m having a hard time classifying her.  (What’d you expect?  I’m a writer, everyone and everything has to fit neatly somewhere.)  I tell her that she seems to fall somewhere in the middle.  Akasha replies that those moments are rare and she feels more like a sub.  However, those "Masters" and "Doms" who expect every female to drop to their knees and call them Sir, eyes tilted to the floor - those trigger her dom-side. She’s dismissive of those who think they´re everybody´s walking dream ....and forget that submission is a gift that has to be deserved and earned.  This is not a woman to be trifled with I’m learning. 

My next question is whether BDSM for her in SL is just role play, or is there an emotional/sexual side.  Akasha says that it’s role play and of course it triggers emotions but it also gives her ideas - either for stories or things she´ll try out in RL or maybe even a blog entry (which wouldn´t be aimed at THAT (Akasha’s emphasis) particular situation) but it could become just an item that springs to her mind, an image, an emotion that triggers the idea of an outfit or an item or whatever.

I then ask her whether she came to BDSM in SL from RL or was it the other way around.  Akasha says actually BDSM was why she came back to SL after a three and a half year break.  She wanted to find new impulses, ideas and stuff to try in RL.  SL has become “muuuuuch” more for her though and while she hasn’t had any BDSM recently, it was the reason she came back and she wouldn´t want to leave it completely.

          We then turn to whether Akasha is now wearing a collar and has she worn one before.  She is wearing a collar and she has been officially collared three times.  Though, she is always a primary owner in both OpenCollar and Tokon.  She is very careful which rights she gives.  Usually she does have more rights than her owner but she does always have the same rights as her owner as a minimum. As of now she is not owned by anybody.  She is single in any form there could be (SL wise) and is owned by herself. Her personal group has access to her collar as long as she does not have anybody claiming her exclusively (Because she doesn´t do poly stuff or share.  Mine is mine, she adds), What she is wearing she wore because it was the necklace that matches best with her outfit. Akasha does have protectors that care about her and watch over her, they play but usually do not use the collar. RLV is deactivated and would only be active if she really felt like it and is with someone she trusts deeply.

I then ask the question that Akasha says she has been dreading, what is BDSM to her?  I mention that some subs talk of the freedom experienced.  I want to know her viewpoint. 

               To Akasha, BDSM is all about trust and she emphasizes this.  She says that she learns about herself, the human psychology, others, and it can be a stress relief. (Though she adds “We all know - don´t take your anger out on your sub...”). She has learned to accept her darker sides more, grow more confident and sometimes she adds, certain agreements (‘ten spanks if that and that isn´t done... or something’) can help her focus (so do "good girl spanks"). 

               I return to Akasha’s comment about her “darker sides” and ask about these. 

          She laughs as she replies that it’s how the majority of humans see them and how quite a lot see BDSM as screaming and whip cracking and whatnot  - not knowing there is much more to it. But of course, she continues, there are thinks like edge play (blood, fire, ice, knifes...) that can trigger things that could be considered dark.

I then ask her what are her favorite practices inworld.  She replies the good old bare bottom spanks (the oldies are always the best) and maybe a little blood play, mind games, sensoral deprivary, it´s the mix that counts for Akasha.

When she engages in these, is it all role play I continue with the questioning.  When she’s being spanked inworld, is she being spanked in RL?

Akasha replies no. Her RL boyfriend knows what she’s doing in SL and if he thinks I do too much he just claims her in RL. Other than that if he sees Akasha’s screen and sees her being spanked all he does is ask her “What the hell I did this time?”  She is laughing throughout this part of the interview.  (I have so much to learn here.) 

               I know our interview is drawing to an end as I hit my favorite questions about what the interviewee likes best and least inworld. In this case, I ask these of Akasha concerning BDSM.

         
               For what she likes, Akasha says that it is like a library but an interactive one with easy access to more and more knowledge.  Not all experiences one makes are good (her three owners turned out to be fails, same with the BDSM related clubs she’s gone to.) But, still she has found interesting things inworld.

                As for what Akasha doesn’t like about BDSM inworld, she speaks of people whining "if you´re taken in RL you cannot have someone in SL", "collarsluts" of both genders that just collect subs (many subs I meet talk of this type and usually not favorably) or get collared by collectors, those "Masters" and "Doms" she mentioned earlier, not paying attention to their looks or behavior but expecting subs to kneel because they are the Dom and the sub female.  These are the things that bother Akasha about BDSM in SL. 

This leads to my question about whether she encounters much sexism inworld.  Akasha says she does and adds that she can’t say she’s been innocent in that regard either.  She feels she is better with males in any world, life, situation so some of her views are misogynistic, but being the special illogical creature she is, she excludes herself and few well-chosen gals,  - as the exception to the rule so to speak.  (Please don’t write in and say I’m sexist, I’m taking Akasha’s comments here.)  I ask her if any of her owners have ever been dommes and Akasha replies in the negative and says that she would never submit to a female or role play with one. 

At this point, I thank Akasha and take my leave of her.  I’m still a little perplexed as to how to describe her.  She’s very much her own person and calls the shots in her relationships from what I can see.  Maybe Akasha said it best herself when she said, “I act up at times and talk back and whats (sic) not, but I´m the sub.  I call myself a bratty sub.”   

I’d like to thank Akasha Sternberg for taking the time to meet with me and to talk about her life in the SL BDSM community.  I’m especially grateful to her for how she opened herself up and talked about herself inworld.  For me, Akasha is another example of the SL resident who has a real life (not RL) inworld and is sensitive about the feelings of others and not just her own. 

As always, I’m grateful to all for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives. 

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

     If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.

Photo No. 1: Akasha Sternberg I

Photo No. 2: Akasha Sternberg II

Photo No. 3: Akasha Sternberg III