How Do You Trust in Second Life?

All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.

J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan  

What is trust?

We probably all have our own definitions.

(Significant Other wonders I’m bringing this up now.)

Maybe it’s accepting someone at face value, believing in them, or having confidence in their words and action. 

But, how do we trust?

Ahh, now there’s a good question!

(Significant Other is now starting to pay attention.)

In Real Life (RL), we may use one or more of a variety of methods. 

Sometimes we use time.  The longer we know someone, the more we trust him or

her.

Or, we may rely on others.  They validate the trustworthiness of a person for us.  And, because we trust that person, we trust the newcomer. 

Another approach is to look at their credentials.  If someone purports to be a doctor or a lawyer, well, that’s easily enough verified. 

There’re appearances.  If they have a lot of wealth, it’s hard to hide. 

Of course, some people just jump in and trust everyone! 

(And, history has got some great stories because of this!)

Now, what happens in Second Life (SL)?

Here it’s totally different.

Practically everything that we use in RL to establish trust gets thrown out when we move inworld. 

How do we determine how to trust someone in SL?

Let’s discuss that!

There are obstacles to trust inworld that we don’t face in RL.

The first and biggest is anonymity.

(Come on now, do you really use your RL identity inworld?)

Little if any of what we are in SL has any ties to RL.

Is that woman or man really whom they say they are?

Many avatars are imaginary characters from science fiction or fantasy.

(Significant Other would like me to point out that many US politicians in RL may fall into this category.  But, I try to stay apolitical in this blog.)

Many avatars are animals or machines. 

See where I’m going with this?

(With the avatars not the US politicians.)

How do we validate the avatar standing in front of us inworld? 

Nothing is what it seems.

What’s real?

I have my own approach.

(Significant Other is shocked.)

I listen to how they sound.  Are they genuine?  Do they add value to the conversation?

How do they treat me?  How do they treat others?

Do they have “character”?

Then, do I enjoy being around them?

Do I learn from them?

Do they make me stop and think?

Most importantly, can they make me laugh?

(Significant Other indicates that after reviewing my list, we need to speak when I finish writing this story.)

Others whom I’ve met inworld have their own ways to determine an individual’s trustworthiness.  This can be a big deal for some. 

Some require RL validation.

This can be voice or video verification.

Or, a piece of RL information like age. 

Of course, a mechanism like the latter has its own issues with verification. 

Others look to character for trustworthiness. 

Whatever mechanism is used, many seem to have some sort of methodology.

Then there are those who couldn’t care less and just jump in!

(One of these days, I’ll do a story about these livewires!) 

What about you?

How do you trust others in SL?

Do you even care?

Please share your thoughts with me and if I receive enough replies then I’ll draft a follow up story. 

Or, here’s a new one…

Do you trust my blog?

(And, not just my three loyal readers.)

As always, I’m grateful to all inworld for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives. 

My Twitter handle is @webspelunker.  Please feel free to follow me and I’d be happy to follow you.

I can be found on Google+ as webspelunker Ghostraven.

My flickr Photostream is located here.

On Skype I’m webspelunker Ghostraven.

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

            If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life  please click here.

            Open roads and kind fires!

Maintaining Balance in Second Life

 

Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.

Thomas Merton

 

 

          Some may find this story’s title a little too heavy, or perhaps frightening.

          What does maintaining balance in Second Life (SL) really mean after all?

          It’s only a virtual world, right?

          Do I now have to worry about how I live my life in SL as well as in Real Life (RL) too?

          This can’t possibly apply to me! Can it?

          Gather round and listen because I’m going to chat a little about why maintaining balance in SL is important.  (Significant Other nods approvingly.)

          For me, balance inworld is about three components.

          These are time, behavior, and relationships.

          The matter comes down really to what is overdoing it in SL all about.

          Let’s start with time.

          If we spend too much time inworld we may neglect our RL partners, friends, and family.  (Please note, I’m not confessing to a problem here myself.  My comings and goings in SL are with the full approval of Significant Other who while disdaining their own avatar has developed a fondness for shoulder surfing whilst rolling eyes rather frequently.)

          Perhaps we neglect RL responsibilities or even forget about RL as we have marathon sessions.

          Next, behavior is another area where we can lose a sense of balance inworld.

          Do we come inworld not to experiment and maybe try things we wouldn’t otherwise do in RL but to act out in ways that would get us ejected from most RL places if not arrested?

          Are we rude, obnoxious in our dealings with others inworld?  Are we bad friends or do we take advantage of others?

          Do we troll or grief just because we can hide behind a clock of anonymity inworld?

          Does our SL identity reflect who we truly are or someone else?

          Finally, the big one, our relationships with others inworld.  (Yes, some may only have a relationship with themselves inworld but I’ll save that topic for another time.)

          Are our relationships with others healthy?  Are they based on respect?  Do others trust us inworld?  Or, because it’s a virtual world we just don’t care about the effects of our

relationships with others?

          For those who move into RL with their relationships going from simply being friends to something deeper, is it done for the right reasons and not in some misguided, quixotic attempt to escape a RL relationship that we view as toxic?

          I think (This is the point where Significant Other always begins to worry.) that how we maintain our balance with time, behavior, and relationships inworld comes down to what our purpose for being there in the first is.

          Are we here just for a wild and crazy time?

          Well, OK, if that’s our mission then let’s at least let everyone around know what type of grenade range they’re getting themselves into when they get involved with us.

          But maybe, just maybe, we’re inworld for some more worthwhile, uplifting purpose.  (Now, there’s an original thought, huh?)

          Maybe we’re here to visit new places, meet new friends, and have new experiences without losing some sense of ourselves.

          Possibly our motivation is build or participate in a community, connect in a mystical or spiritual sense with others, or simply add value by being creative with the arts, scripting, or

other content.  (Perhaps blogs?)

          In closing, I’m going to suggest that maybe we should all think about why are we here in SL.

          Let’s ask ourselves do others really want us around in SL?

What would we want our legacy to be inworld after we finally rezz out for the last time?

Something real and genuine or simple drama?

And let’s not forget about RL and those out there who are near and dear to us?

Are they glad we’re lost inworld somewhere or do they miss and need us?

Everything in moderation.

Think about it!

As always, I’m grateful to all inworld for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives.         

My Twitter handle is @webspelunker.  Please feel free to follow me and I’d be happy to follow you.

I can be found on Google+ as webspelunker Ghostraven.

My flickr Photostream is located here.

On Skype I’m webspelunker Ghostraven.

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

          If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.

          Open roads and kind fires!

The Dirty, Little Secret of Second Life

Drama is life with the dull bits cut out. 

Alfred Hitchcock

          OK, if you’ve read this far, you’re probably curious about what I’m referring to.  You may also be aware that I’ve written about sex, BDSM, nudity, trust, friendship, and loss in Second Life (SL).  So, you may be wondering what salacious material I’m about to spill. 

          Well, here it is.  You decide if it’s salacious enough.  Here goes. 

          The dirty, little secret of SL is drama.  Yes, drama. 

          Now, everyone may be wondering how I came to this conclusion.  It’s simple.  As I’ve been wondering across the Grid for almost two years now, I’ve been meeting many residents and visiting locations.  Many residents in their profiles indicate “No drama” as a consideration for getting together.  I’ve also seen sims and groups stating that drama is not permitted.

          So, what is drama inworld?  I have to admit I haven’t seen much myself but then I’ve  never met Abraham Lincoln  either but I’ve read more than a few books about him and I kinda sure he existed. 

          From what I’ve seen drama is about people acting out and torturing one another.  Sounds a lot like Real Life (RL) doesn’t it?  Something tells me this isn’t unique to SL. 

          Who’s involved?  From my unscientific survey it appears that almost anyone can be involved.  (I hope you didn’t think I was going to single out one particular group now, did you?  How dumb do I look?  Wait, don’t answer that!) 

          I have found accusations of drama in the fashion world, role playing, and vampire families to name but a few.  Some might argue that griefing  might be a form of drama.  So let’s say that pretty much anyone inworld can be a candidate for drama.  (Look the entire US Federal government might be accused of too much drama these days.) 

          Now let’s talk about this for a bit. 

          Is drama good or bad for SL?

          An argument could be made that drama inworld is healthy and normal.  Suspense is built around our activities and makes us want to come back to see what happens next.  Is this any different than an interactive form of RL reality TV? 

          Contrary arguments could be made that drama in SL is not healthy and we already have too much in RL.  The arguments could continue that the behaviors are meaningless and add no value to the SL experience.  Could these behaviors even drive people away and potentially hurt them. 

          Finally, does this even matter?  After all, it’s only a game some may argue.  There is also an argument that there are real people with real feelings behind all those avatars. Maybe it’s for the residents to decide.  After all, SL is a community. People vote with their feet.  If they don’t like a sim or a group of people, they’ll go elsewhere.  (Unless they’re masochists but that’s another story.) 

          For me, I always support healthy interaction among residents.  There are real people behind our avatars and we have to remember.  Maybe in role play where there are rules and expectations, drama can be expected.  Otherwise, in RL, I personally avoid poor behavior.  I would do the same in SL if I encountered it. 

          What do you think?  Please send your comments.  I’d love to hear them. 

As always, I’m grateful to all for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives.

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

          If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.