My Fashion Sense in Second Life

Fashion changes, but style endures.

Coco Chanel

 

          Alright, maybe some (OK, all) of my fashionista friends in Second Life (SL) might challenge me on having any fashion sense at all inworld.

          But, hear me out on this please.  For if beauty is in the eye of the beholder, why can’t fashion be?  (Something tells me that I may be banned in parts of SL after this post.)

          For those who haven’t met me inworld, I’m a pretty ordinary avi. 

          Why?

          My reasons are few.  I like things simple and ordinary.  I try to keep my costs down.  (Significant Other is adamant that any money I spend on fashion better be spent in Real Life (RL).  Something about being seen together in public.)  Finally, SL fashion, to be done right, takes a lot of time to be done right even if only freebies are used. 

          SL is about choices many times.  The most basic and probably most important choice we make inworld is about how much time we spend there.  Once we make that decision the next one is what do we do with that time.

          For me, that time is spent exploring, meeting new people, and having new experiences.  Sitting alone in Nowaki, mulling over fashion considerations, and forever tweaking whatever monstrosities (I recognize my limits.) I’d create with Blender is not for me.  (Who says I don’t have any community spirit?) 

          Many residents I meet inworld are fairly cool with my approach.  Then there are a few who sniff distastefully at the obvious noob and walk away.  Which is fine.  Everyone is entitled to their opinion.  (Besides, they’re probably boring anyway.)

          Don’t worry this story will not turn into a diatribe against the fashion world in SL.  Far from it.  I have many friends who are designers, models, retailers, and fashion journalists whom I think the world of both them and their work.  (Several have offered to help me, the fact that I am who I am is my fault alone and not theirs.)  Others are impeccably dressed and coiffed with outstanding skins.  The fact that they let me hang around with them speaks more of their character than their obviously superior sense of haute couture. 

          A sense of style inworld requires resources.  Oddly, the more one may try to avoid spending money, the more likely one is to devote considerable time to their efforts.  Especially those who are creating original works and not simply knocking off the work of others. 

          More than personal vanity is involved too in being fashionable inworld.  Roleplaying many times has dress requirements before people can participate.  Historical sims have costume codes that visitors are required, justifiably, before they can enter. 

          Then there are sims where clothing is not required but even they seem to have a hierarchy of who’s got a better skin.  (Or certain AO’s but I won’t go there now.)  Don’t expect me to have a six pack set of abs anytime soon! 

          My basic wardrobe inworld is fairly straightforward.  There’s my everyday tee shirt and jeans casual. Followed by my basic gothic look which serves me well for most historical sims.  (Although, I’ve been known to go native in ancient Egypt.)  I can’t forget to mention my Gorean outfit which is probably my most sophisticated look.  Finally, there’s my basic nude look for going out, well, among nudists. 

          My first attempt at a makeover when I came inworld was fairly basic. (“What you see is what you get!”)  I later started another makeover but became distracted.  (Which Significant Other says is my natural state.)  I will return to this effort and see what further harm I can to myself later this year.  Don’t worry, my trade mark red eyes will stay.  (How else can I be distinguished from all the other nude guys? Don’t say it! We’re still not that kind of blog.) 

          Any suggestions about my next makeover are more than welcome.  Although, I reserve the right to approve all recommendations.  Also, any recommendations that I just disappear will be tossed out onto the proverbial dustbin of history. 

          What got me going on this topic?  Maybe it’s because Halloween has just passed and all the costumes got me thinking.  Or, maybe I’m becoming more self-conscious inworld.  Either way, get ready to see some changes in me.  But, not to worry, I’ll still be the same old lovable noob running around asking lots of questions.  

          I’ve included a few pictures of myself in various outfits so you can be the judge of just how I look or where improvements could be made.       

As always, I’m grateful to all inworld for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives.  (Including the undead!) 

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

          If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here. 

 

Photo No. 1  web in Casual

Photo No. 2  web in Goth

Photo No. 3  web in Gorean

Photo No. 4  web Almost Nude!  (Still not that kind of blog!)

A Visit to Gor in Second Life

Do not ask the stones or the trees how to live; they cannot not tell you; they do not have tongues; do not ask the wise man how to live, for, if he knows, he will know he cannot tell you; if you would learn how to live, do not ask the question; its answer is not in the question but in the answer, which is not in words; do not ask how to live, but, instead proceed to do so.

Gorean saying from Tarnsman of Gor

              

               As some of my friends and readers know from my travels across Second Life (SL), I’ve been frustrated for some time about my inability to enter the community of Gor  inworld and meet its participants and learning about the lifestyle.  I felt like any writer trying to get into a closed society (e.g., organized crime, cults, the Jimmy Kimmel fan club) and is frustrated by his or her inability to get inside. 

          Gor is a fictional universe based on the novels of John Norman.  They are fairly controversial given their treatment of women.  But, SL being the place that it is, whole communities have been built around this theme.  Gorean communities are purportedly among some of the largest and best organized inworld.  I’ve been meaning to visit them and see for myself what’s going on.

          Well, I’m happy to report, I’ve finally made it inside Gor in SL! 

          A friend introduced me a freewoman of Gor, Lady Wiebeline Hoorenbeek (AKA Lady Bel, seems no one can pronounce her name.) who would be happy to meet me and show me around.  (OK, maybe she wasn’t happy to see me but she was happy to show me around Gor.)  An exchange of IM’s and we were set.

          Now, one doesn’t rush into a Gorean sim in SL.  One must be properly attired.  Lady Bel gave me some homework of which the primary to do was getting an appropriate set of clothes.  She even gave me a LM for a place to obtain some freebie Gorean clothing. What could be simpler right? 

          Well, to make a long story short, I waited until the night before our appointment to visit the freebie shop.  Seems they had primarily women’s clothing and what little men’s clothing they had was suitable for me.  I didn’t think cross dressing was appropriate for my first introduction to the Gorean lifestyle.  As for the men’s clothing, after a little research, I’d decided to go as a scribe.  Seemed logical and less likely to get my avatar killed.  So, the professional assassin’s costume didn’t work. 

OK, SL is full of freebies right?  How hard could this be.  Let me just say this, women have a lot more choices when it comes to dressing as a Gorean in SL.  Especially if they don’t object to be partially dressed and fully chained.  Men are OK if they’re willing to either do the same or go as Conan the Barbarian.  While all this is going on a female friend was chding me via IM about the usual female prejudices about men and shopping.  I don’t want to say I was stressed but pressure was building.  (After all, I couldn’t exactly go nude because that would have brought up a whole slew of other issues I wasn’t about to go into either.) 

Eventually, I located a fairly decent scribe’s costume from a purveyor of medieval costumes and it cost me a few Linden (not too many) and I was set. 

Except that I waited until about fifteen minutes before I meet Lady Bel to put my new clothes on.  (Remember my latest failed makeover.)  I sense the dismay in Lady Bel’s voice when I ask if I could show up nude.  I manage to get my pants on and literally run out the door of my house to go meet her at Spirit Wilds.  After a rushed exchange of greetings, I manage to complete getting dressed while Lady Bel completes the arrangements for our trip.  I’m told to greet people by saying “Tal”.  OK, I can handle that. 

A word about Lady Bel.  She is dressed in a free woman’s costume which consists of a floor length dress and a veil.  We may be going to Gorean communities where women are required to go about veiled in public.  She had once been a slave and obtained her freedom and is now a seamstress in Gor. 

Our first stop is Genesian Port where I receive my first introduction to Gorean life.  (That is after learning to dress myself.)  Lady Bel instructs me in how to obtain and wear my combat meter and HUD.  (This is where I’m telling myself that I’m a non-combatant. Right?)  We then TP to the nearby trade docks.

When we arrive, I look around at the surrounding scene and am impressed.  I see a port in the style of Late Middle Ages or Early Renaissance in Real Life (RL).  (No, I wasn’t there but I read a lot.)  Someone has gone to a lot of trouble to create a realistic scene.  (Or, as realistic as something can be when based on a series of books about an alternate Earth.)  The few people about are dressed in typical Gorean costume. 

While I’ve been playing a gawking tourist with everything but a camera, Lady Bel has been talking with one of the locals to see if she can get us into some brief RP.  She leads us into the town where we meet a slave woman who agrees to take us to a local inn for food and drink.

Lady Bel and I sit on cushions placed on the floor around a round table.  The slave girl serves us pastries and tea.  I notice Lady Bel offers some of her food to the slave which she takes.  The RP is real and full of little gestures and expressions. 

          I keep telling myself that I’m in society based on dominant men and submissive women where slavery and physical punishment are condoned.  Lady Bel, a RL woman, keeps IM-ing me that this is a RP and everything I see is consensual.  She tells me as RL woman she’s not crazy about this behavior but it’s only in the context of this virtual world.  So I play along.  (Significant Other warns me not to get any ideas.) 

          We talk with the slave about her life inworld and she plays the role to the hilt.  (I won’t be starting any revolutions around here anytime soon.)  She asks us if we’d like to speak with her master about Gorean life and his responsibilities to his slaves.  We assent and she contacts him to ask if he’ll meet us.  Lady Bel are lucky because the master agrees to meet with us.  We follow the slave to a tearoom. 

           The tearoom is located on a large veranda and is shaded by a trellis overlooking the sea.  A large man in typical Gorean costume (I have to meet his tailor.) sits on cushions on the ground around a circular table.  (I’m picking up a pattern here.)

          Lady Bel  and I join our host at his table after making our introductions.  (Apparently, I’m described as a scribe for a gazette who asks questions.  Works for me.)  The slave is sent to the kitchen to help the master’s wife.  A kind repartee goes on among our host, his wife, and the slave.  It’s like being invited into a family’s home and sitting down at the kitchen table and listening to their give ‘n take. 

          The wife joins us in traditional costume covered from head to toe in flowing robes.  Eventually, the slave rejoins us.  In the meantime, the master of the house answers my questions about how he became a slave owner when a friend gave him an unneeded slave (Yes, I know how that sounds as I write it.) and the responsibilities of maintaining them.  Lady Bel has been IM-ing me that she finds his level of RP extremely good and is impresses by the completeness of his answer and their realism.  He is humorous and plays the role of a gregarious, friendly host very well.  (I wish I could people like him in RL.)  A family friend drops by and joins us at the table.  It all seems so natural. 

          Unfortunately, yours truly has to leave to get back to RL.  (Pesky thing sometimes.)  Lady Bel explains that we have to catch an early boat and we take or leave.

          Several blocks away, we stop and talk about what we’ve just seen.  I must say that I’m impressed by it.  This Gorean town is a highly functioning social system.  Everyone seems to be integrated into the RP. 

          Lady Bel offers to show me more later and I accept her very kind offer.  She did all the heavy lifting for this story.

          I thank Lady Bel for all her help and we agree to meet again soon for another  visit to Gor.  I’m finally on a roll with Gor! 

          Below please find links to several pictures that I took during this quick introduction to Gor.    As always, don’t rely on my crude efforts with photography.  But, please if you go, respect the rules around costume and behavior.  The last thing Gor needs is busloads of tourists gawking.  (Remember must people go about in Gorean sims carrying sharp instruments, even the slaves.) 

          I’d like to thank Lady Bel for taking the time to meet with me, answer my questions, and take me around the world of Gor.    I hope I haven’t embarrassed her too much!  Since in my rush to leave I didn’t receive permission to quote my Gorean hosts, I have quoted them directly or identified them.  But I am grateful to all of them for their hospitality! 

          Gor inworld is a very interesting place.  I have many more questions and I want to get answers.  I hope to blog more frequently about the world of Gor in SL.  Watch this space for more to come! 

 As always, I’m grateful to all inworld for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives. 

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

          If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here. 

 

Photo No. 1   webspelunker as a Scribe

Photo No. 2   Lady Bel

Photo No. 3   Genesian Port

Photo No. 4   Meal at an Inn

Photo No. 5   Host in Tearoom

Sex and the Single Avatar in Second Life VI: Interview with a Domme

Everyone is a potential naked slave to you once you become a trainer.

Anne Rice

          This installment of Sex and the Single Avatar in Second Life goes back to a subject that I’ve blogged a lot about since my start in Second Life (SL), BDSM .  My last story visited a nude beach so I thought it was time to get back to people and their practices inworld rather than place with this story. 

          Since I first started visiting with the BDSM community inworld, I’ve met with doms, dommes, and submissives (“subs”).  I’ve visited clubs and other places where BDSM is practiced.  One of my goals has been to interview a dom or domme.  Subs seem to like to talk.  But for some reason, doms and dommes seem to be somewhat more reticent.  Well, after several months of looking and a couple of false starts, I’m happy to report that I’ve finally met a domme who was willing to be interviewed.  (Actually, I met her while researching nudist beaches!  There is a method to my madness.) 

           Dorina Slade is an inworld domme who rezzed into SL on May 3, 2007.  Dorina like many noobies in SL quickly became curious about what her avatar looked like without her clothes on and the rest, as they say is history.  She passed through phases of being an escort and a kajira in a Gorean sim before moving onto BDSM.   Dorina only practices BDSM in SL and as for Real Life, “…that’s another story…” as she says. 

          Le Harem de Dorina is a SL group founded by Dorian and is not a place.  She designed it as a sexy family where all members could enjoy using and being used by one another, depending on the time zones and the genders of the people online.  Dorina says one never knows how the game can run.  Members ascend the group’s hierarchy by serving well or go back down the way they came if they don’t behave. She continues saying that this brings out a great sense of emulation and gameplaying especially as Dorina describes herself as quite bad tempered and may punish a sub who has served her well and reward another one who has gone wild.  Dorina would like to keep the group small with really motivated subs, too many subs makes it hard to be serious with all of them. 

Dorina began as a sub because she says she had a lot to learn first.  She found a good Mistress and Master and was “conveniently” instructed (sounds interesting).  As time went by, Dorina found herself more and more attracted to domination, especially of men.  She practiced and became more daring and understood that this was what she wanted.  So, after a while, when she tried to enter a BDSM sim as a sub, Dorina found it so boring that it became to clear to her that she could not go back.  It was “domme or die” for Dorina. 

As to why Dorina became a paid domme, she says she needed money to buy clothes and stuff. The easiest (and most pleasant!) way to earn Lindens was escorting.  She found she was good at it, men were ready to pay for usual services, and to overpay for being humiliated, beaten, and being taken advantage of.  It was easy, funny, and she didn’t even have to undress or have sex with them.  

Dorina’s favorite practices involve using men.  Although as she puts it, “I never have sexy with sex.”  She enjoys rear entry sex with them or “obliging” them to play with each other.  In fact, she considers the latter to be a real treat as she then knows that they are really, fully obedient. 

Among her subs, there are no real limits among the men.  Some enjoy anal, some being slapped, others serving as human urinals.  There was one fellow once Dorina recalls who was absolutely straight but after a while he was one of the best fellatists she had ever seen and would ask the Harem Master for sex.  She considers him one of her greatest victories! 

I ask Dorina what a typical session for her group is like and she says it all depends on the sub, the moment, and her mood.  They are not typical and as sometimes there can be as many as three or four subs at the same time, there can be many combinations. 

          There are about ten subs in Le Harem de Dorina but only a few are used by her frequently.  She prefers to have a few subs and to use them well and to be ready and able to respond to their needs.  Dorina sometimes wonders who the real dominant is as the subs just have to obey while she has to think it all over. 

          I inquire about how well the group is doing, is it growing?  Dorina says she’d rather keep the group small as too many subs make it hard to be serious with all.  (Le Harem de Dorina does have an application which does ask applicants fairly direct questions about their preferences in case anyone is interested.) 

          My last question to Dorina is about her thoughts about the state of BDSM in SL today.  She replies that there are too many subs don’t know what BDSM really means and too many doms and dommes (often guys with a female avatar) are just there for some quick sex.  

          I want to thank Dorina not only for this interview and her frank and candid answers.  She maintains her own blog which while not current does give a fun account of her early days in SL. 

          Below, I’ve included a link to a picture of Dorina and some BDSM sites that I’ve visited inworld.  My pictures do not do any of the sites justice, please visit them if you can! 

          As always, I’m grateful to all for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives.

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

          If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.

Photo No. 1 Dorina Slade

Photo No. 2 Heavy Bondage Club Entrance

Photo No. 3 Heavy Bondage Club Pony Play Track

Photo No. 4 Heavy Bondage Club Dungeon Entrance

Photo No. 5 Heavy Bondage Club Dungeon Cages

Photo No. 6 Dark Wishes Arrival Area

Photo No. 7 Dark Wishes Village and Harbor

Photo No. 8 Dark Wishes Castle Main Hall

Photo No. 9 Dark Wishes Maze Entrance

Photo No. 10 Dominari Dance Floor