Sex and the Single Avatar in Second Life XIV – Auctions and BDSM Roleplay

 

You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.

Plato

  

          Recently, Steve, the owner of Devilhand Castle of Carnal Pleasure and a friend of

mine in Second Life (SL) caught up with me. 

(No easy task, as I wander around quite a bit!)

          Steve and Ama, his partner in Devilhand, have been steadily growing their BDSM community since I first met them. 

          The castle itself and the surrounding grounds have been rebuilt and overhauled extensively.

          The community is growing too. (Hey, they even have me as their scribe!) 

          Steve has always been an advocate of slow and steady growth at Devilhand, not wanting to go too fast too soon.

          So, I was pleased to hear that he’s now getting ready for the first BDSM function in Devilhand. 

          Steve is preparing to have the first slave auction at Devilhand.  (Significant Other

arches an eyebrow which happens a lot when I write this blog.) 

          I expressed my desire to blog about this aspect of the BDSM lifestyle inworld and Steve referred me to Phryne, the Devilhand Slave Auction Manager, and NightBud, the Devilhand tavern keeper.  (I told you the community was growing!)

          Phryne and NightBud are also a couple inworld who participate in the BDSM lifestyle.

          NightBud is the dom and Phryne is the submissive. 

          I reached out to them to meet and they graciously agreed which helped me with the background for this story. 

          Now, before the human rights crowd comes after me, please remember that this is all role play and all participants are consenting adults who sign an agreement beforehand demonstrating that they know what they’re getting themselves into beforehand.

          Typically, in Second Life, slave auctions take place at BDSM sims. 

          Slaves (submissives) are auctioned off to the highest bidder, usually a dom/domme.

           There can be exceptions to this where even doms/domes can be auctioned off and this will be permitted at Devilhand.  (Significant Other’s professional observation is, “Huh?”)

          The basis of the relationship is the contract which spells out the responsibilities and limits of each party.  (Points of negotiation can include types of play, use of voice, etc.)

          SL auctions can be for either inworld or include Real Life (RL) aspects. 

          Those at Devilhand are currently only for inworld and only have a duration of one week. 

          Inworld slave auctions can be either public outcry or online auctions similar to eBay. 

          Devilhand’s will be the latter with a duration of fourteen days.    

          A percentage of the amount bid by the winner will go to the slave.

          All funds are held in escrow by Devilhand until all terms of the contract have been fulfilled.

Phryne explained that the auction is a good way to meet different people, and as for roleplay, it’s a great starting point, especially in owner/slave relationships.  Since the relationship starts with an actual purchase, she’s sure that it helps with the roleplay.

           The auction can be a good introduction to the BDSM lifestyle as well.

          Phryne continued by explaining that it might definitely lead to more lasting relationships. She thought this is a very good way to know each other for a week and then decide whether to continue or not.

Most probably, she said, some of the people meeting here will form a lasting relationship.

          Registration for the auction and its rules can be found here. 

          The auction will be taking place in the castle proper. 

          Since the auction has just launched and is awaiting participants to be signed up to be auctioned, a date hasn’t been set yet.  But, one will be communicated to participants when a decision has been made. 

          NightBud added that participants should be patient as Devilhand is still rolling out slowly and focusing on the quality of its members’ experience above all else!

          For those who are experienced in the BDSM lifestyle of for those looking for an introduction, the Devilhand slave auction is good event to check out! 

          I’d like to thank Steve, Phryne, and NightBud for all their help in preparing this story and I wish them luck with their first auction!      

          As always, I’m grateful to all inworld for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives

My Twitter handle is @webspelunker.  Please feel free to follow me and I’d be happy to follow you.

I can be found on Google+ as webspelunker Ghostraven.

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On Skype I’m webspelunker Ghostraven.

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

          If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.

          Open roads and kind fires!

Sex and the Single Avatar in Second Life VI: Interview with a Domme

Everyone is a potential naked slave to you once you become a trainer.

Anne Rice

          This installment of Sex and the Single Avatar in Second Life goes back to a subject that I’ve blogged a lot about since my start in Second Life (SL), BDSM .  My last story visited a nude beach so I thought it was time to get back to people and their practices inworld rather than place with this story. 

          Since I first started visiting with the BDSM community inworld, I’ve met with doms, dommes, and submissives (“subs”).  I’ve visited clubs and other places where BDSM is practiced.  One of my goals has been to interview a dom or domme.  Subs seem to like to talk.  But for some reason, doms and dommes seem to be somewhat more reticent.  Well, after several months of looking and a couple of false starts, I’m happy to report that I’ve finally met a domme who was willing to be interviewed.  (Actually, I met her while researching nudist beaches!  There is a method to my madness.) 

           Dorina Slade is an inworld domme who rezzed into SL on May 3, 2007.  Dorina like many noobies in SL quickly became curious about what her avatar looked like without her clothes on and the rest, as they say is history.  She passed through phases of being an escort and a kajira in a Gorean sim before moving onto BDSM.   Dorina only practices BDSM in SL and as for Real Life, “…that’s another story…” as she says. 

          Le Harem de Dorina is a SL group founded by Dorian and is not a place.  She designed it as a sexy family where all members could enjoy using and being used by one another, depending on the time zones and the genders of the people online.  Dorina says one never knows how the game can run.  Members ascend the group’s hierarchy by serving well or go back down the way they came if they don’t behave. She continues saying that this brings out a great sense of emulation and gameplaying especially as Dorina describes herself as quite bad tempered and may punish a sub who has served her well and reward another one who has gone wild.  Dorina would like to keep the group small with really motivated subs, too many subs makes it hard to be serious with all of them. 

Dorina began as a sub because she says she had a lot to learn first.  She found a good Mistress and Master and was “conveniently” instructed (sounds interesting).  As time went by, Dorina found herself more and more attracted to domination, especially of men.  She practiced and became more daring and understood that this was what she wanted.  So, after a while, when she tried to enter a BDSM sim as a sub, Dorina found it so boring that it became to clear to her that she could not go back.  It was “domme or die” for Dorina. 

As to why Dorina became a paid domme, she says she needed money to buy clothes and stuff. The easiest (and most pleasant!) way to earn Lindens was escorting.  She found she was good at it, men were ready to pay for usual services, and to overpay for being humiliated, beaten, and being taken advantage of.  It was easy, funny, and she didn’t even have to undress or have sex with them.  

Dorina’s favorite practices involve using men.  Although as she puts it, “I never have sexy with sex.”  She enjoys rear entry sex with them or “obliging” them to play with each other.  In fact, she considers the latter to be a real treat as she then knows that they are really, fully obedient. 

Among her subs, there are no real limits among the men.  Some enjoy anal, some being slapped, others serving as human urinals.  There was one fellow once Dorina recalls who was absolutely straight but after a while he was one of the best fellatists she had ever seen and would ask the Harem Master for sex.  She considers him one of her greatest victories! 

I ask Dorina what a typical session for her group is like and she says it all depends on the sub, the moment, and her mood.  They are not typical and as sometimes there can be as many as three or four subs at the same time, there can be many combinations. 

          There are about ten subs in Le Harem de Dorina but only a few are used by her frequently.  She prefers to have a few subs and to use them well and to be ready and able to respond to their needs.  Dorina sometimes wonders who the real dominant is as the subs just have to obey while she has to think it all over. 

          I inquire about how well the group is doing, is it growing?  Dorina says she’d rather keep the group small as too many subs make it hard to be serious with all.  (Le Harem de Dorina does have an application which does ask applicants fairly direct questions about their preferences in case anyone is interested.) 

          My last question to Dorina is about her thoughts about the state of BDSM in SL today.  She replies that there are too many subs don’t know what BDSM really means and too many doms and dommes (often guys with a female avatar) are just there for some quick sex.  

          I want to thank Dorina not only for this interview and her frank and candid answers.  She maintains her own blog which while not current does give a fun account of her early days in SL. 

          Below, I’ve included a link to a picture of Dorina and some BDSM sites that I’ve visited inworld.  My pictures do not do any of the sites justice, please visit them if you can! 

          As always, I’m grateful to all for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives.

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

          If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.

Photo No. 1 Dorina Slade

Photo No. 2 Heavy Bondage Club Entrance

Photo No. 3 Heavy Bondage Club Pony Play Track

Photo No. 4 Heavy Bondage Club Dungeon Entrance

Photo No. 5 Heavy Bondage Club Dungeon Cages

Photo No. 6 Dark Wishes Arrival Area

Photo No. 7 Dark Wishes Village and Harbor

Photo No. 8 Dark Wishes Castle Main Hall

Photo No. 9 Dark Wishes Maze Entrance

Photo No. 10 Dominari Dance Floor

Visit to a BDSM Club

Night time is really the best time to work. All the ideas are there to be yours because everyone else is asleep.

Catherine O'Hara

Recently, I attended the opening party for a new BDSM club, Domus Dominari Pietas , in Second Life (SL).  I dropped by and had a fun time.  Unfortunately, everyone at the club was busy having a blast and I had to leave for another appointment so I didn’t have much time to talk with the owners about Domus.  However, knowing that my loyal readers (OK, I know there’s at least one of you out there.) would want to know more, I made arrangements to return and have an interview with one of the owners, kitten. 

I return to meet kitten at the club one evening for our interview.  We begin by talking about the Ds family which is behind the club.  Kitten tells me that there is a Real Life (RL) BDSM family behind Domus.  She is one of the newest members and proud of the duality between SL and RL.  For safety reasons, kitten cannot speak about the RL part of their community.  I respect their desire for privacy.  (This isn’t News of the World!)

kitten describes herself as a slavemissive, a term coined by a RL friend of hers.  She does not consider herself property, but feels she is deeper than a sub which is a fine line in between she adds.  Kitten is collared by Master Wey, also an owner of the club.  (She is also the owner of Infinity Photography inworld and I hope to do a story about that at another time.) 

I ask her why she came to the BDSM lifestyle inworld and she replies that she had suffered a loss five years ago which left her masterless.  She shut off her subside completely and came here to see if she could even find her again.  kitten says that she came back with grace. 

Note how kitten refers to her subside as “she”.  I’m learning that subs refer to themselves in almost as many ways as there are subs. When I mention this to her, kitten replies that there is no sub handbook, no cookie cutter form, each sub/slave/slavemissive gives what they and their masters are comfortable with.   kitten hopes each one is different in their own way

I next ask her what satisfaction does she derive in SL as opposed to RL?  Her answer is being with a family 24/7 in both SL and RL is a good platform for roles and rules for an SL/RL relationship.  However, if it’s SL only then at least one can fulfill the inner need to serve and pacify oneself till finding exactly what’s being looked for.

I ask if it’s about the emotional side when inworld.  kitten says that she can’t speak for others, but emotions are first for her. Once a master has the mind and heart, the body will follow.  I then query if there is a physical counterpart to what happens in SL?  She replies again that she can’t speak for others but for her, absolutely, there is.  I continue asking if it’s sexual and she says yes, of course.  Wishing to save this line of questioning for another blog, I turn our interview to a discussion of the club itself. 

I begin by inquiring about the reasons for establishing the club.  kitten explains that the family had been to a few other clubs in SL, some were amazing, others not so much.  They wanted a place comfortable for Ds BDSM lifestylers.  Just family and comfort as she puts it.  This led them to establishing Domus. 

At Domus there would be no judging, all would be welcome.  Master Wey makes the final decisions but all the family members are owners. The only rules are nor griefing, no drama, and everyone plays nice in the sandbox. 

In reply to my query about how well they have been doing, kitten says that they are nearing their one hundredth member.  She adds that they are in no hurry to build membership numbers but prefer quality to quantity.  People being happy is the most important thing for the club. 

kitten continues, explaining about the social life.  The club is still working on a set schedule.  Various events are planned for Saturdays.  Discussion groups for members will be implemented.  There is a Submissive Sisterhood group open to sub sisters for support and guidance and they typically organize club events. 

Besides the main hall which serves as receiving area and dance floor, the club has several other theme rooms which can be TP’d to.  These include the Kitty Room, Bondage Room, Love Grotto, Interrogation Room (I wonder if it would violate journalistic ethics if I were to use this room for my interviews?), Medical Room, Dungeon, and something called the Sin Box.  Then there’s a race track called the Sky Track and I’m still trying to figure out how this fits into the grand scheme of things.  Kitty confirms that these are frequented at all hours of the day. 

My last question to kitten is what would she like my readers to know about the club?

Kitten smiles when she replies.  She wants them to that RL or SL makes no difference when it comes to their desires. 

They can choose to be stifled or can open themselves up to experiences that can enrich their souls.  kitten and her family want to offer that comfort zone to experience new things, either to submit or to dominate.  She adds that people should just be who they’re comfortable being. She explains that’s why one’s “skin” is so important.  (SL residents will understand that analogy.) They have to be comfortable in their skins.

What is really my last question is whether Domus is open to people who are new to BDSM and curious?  kitten says of course they are.  This is why the Submissive Sisterhood group and soon Sub Brotherhood group is coming.  These are “no dom allowed” groups for peer to peer bouncing of ideas and problems.  New and interested people are welcome, and even if it’s not someone’s cup of tea, they are invited to join their gatherings and talks.

At this point, I thank kitten for her time and take my leave.  My visit with her has been interesting and given me some things to think about. First, the connection between RL and SL for this BDSM family and how SL is used as social media. I don’t think Facebook lends itself to what they do.  (I’d like to see a Dungeon in Facebook.)  Next, so far, most people whom I’ve met inworld who are in the BDSM lifestyle also appear to be involved with it to some degree in RL.  Although, I want to be careful of generalizations here.  Finally, the BDSM community inworld is large, diverse, and I haven’t even begun to touch all its facets. 

          I’ll continue my journey across the BDSM community for a while yet.  There are still many people and places I have yet to visit and bring their stories back. 

I want to thank kitten for her time and willingness to share her life with us.  I’m also grateful to Domus for their hospitality.  I would encourage all who are either involved in the BDSM community or who interested in it to check the club out. 

As always, I’m grateful to all for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives. 

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

     If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.

Photo No. 1: kitten I

Photo No. 2: kitten II

Photo No. 3: Domus Main Hall