Saturday, January 26, 2013

Sex and the Single Avatar in Second Life VI: Interview with a Domme

Everyone is a potential naked slave to you once you become a trainer.

Anne Rice

          This installment of Sex and the Single Avatar in Second Life goes back to a subject that I’ve blogged a lot about since my start in Second Life (SL), BDSM .  My last story visited a nude beach so I thought it was time to get back to people and their practices inworld rather than place with this story. 
          Since I first started visiting with the BDSM community inworld, I’ve met with doms, dommes, and submissives (“subs”).  I’ve visited clubs and other places where BDSM is practiced.  One of my goals has been to interview a dom or domme.  Subs seem to like to talk.  But for some reason, doms and dommes seem to be somewhat more reticent.  Well, after several months of looking and a couple of false starts, I’m happy to report that I’ve finally met a domme who was willing to be interviewed.  (Actually, I met her while researching nudist beaches!  There is a method to my madness.) 
           Dorina Slade is an inworld domme who rezzed into SL on May 3, 2007.  Dorina like many noobies in SL quickly became curious about what her avatar looked like without her clothes on and the rest, as they say is history.  She passed through phases of being an escort and a kajira in a Gorean sim before moving onto BDSM.   Dorina only practices BDSM in SL and as for Real Life, “…that’s another story…” as she says. 
          Le Harem de Dorina is a SL group founded by Dorian and is not a place.  She designed it as a sexy family where all members could enjoy using and being used by one another, depending on the time zones and the genders of the people online.  Dorina says one never knows how the game can run.  Members ascend the group’s hierarchy by serving well or go back down the way they came if they don’t behave. She continues saying that this brings out a great sense of emulation and gameplaying especially as Dorina describes herself as quite bad tempered and may punish a sub who has served her well and reward another one who has gone wild.  Dorina would like to keep the group small with really motivated subs, too many subs makes it hard to be serious with all of them. 
Dorina began as a sub because she says she had a lot to learn first.  She found a good Mistress and Master and was “conveniently” instructed (sounds interesting).  As time went by, Dorina found herself more and more attracted to domination, especially of men.  She practiced and became more daring and understood that this was what she wanted.  So, after a while, when she tried to enter a BDSM sim as a sub, Dorina found it so boring that it became to clear to her that she could not go back.  It was “domme or die” for Dorina. 
As to why Dorina became a paid domme, she says she needed money to buy clothes and stuff. The easiest (and most pleasant!) way to earn Lindens was escorting.  She found she was good at it, men were ready to pay for usual services, and to overpay for being humiliated, beaten, and being taken advantage of.  It was easy, funny, and she didn’t even have to undress or have sex with them.  
Dorina’s favorite practices involve using men.  Although as she puts it, “I never have sexy with sex.”  She enjoys rear entry sex with them or “obliging” them to play with each other.  In fact, she considers the latter to be a real treat as she then knows that they are really, fully obedient. 
Among her subs, there are no real limits among the men.  Some enjoy anal, some being slapped, others serving as human urinals.  There was one fellow once Dorina recalls who was absolutely straight but after a while he was one of the best fellatists she had ever seen and would ask the Harem Master for sex.  She considers him one of her greatest victories! 
I ask Dorina what a typical session for her group is like and she says it all depends on the sub, the moment, and her mood.  They are not typical and as sometimes there can be as many as three or four subs at the same time, there can be many combinations. 
          There are about ten subs in Le Harem de Dorina but only a few are used by her frequently.  She prefers to have a few subs and to use them well and to be ready and able to respond to their needs.  Dorina sometimes wonders who the real dominant is as the subs just have to obey while she has to think it all over. 
          I inquire about how well the group is doing, is it growing?  Dorina says she’d rather keep the group small as too many subs make it hard to be serious with all.  (Le Harem de Dorina does have an application which does ask applicants fairly direct questions about their preferences in case anyone is interested.) 
          My last question to Dorina is about her thoughts about the state of BDSM in SL today.  She replies that there are too many subs don’t know what BDSM really means and too many doms and dommes (often guys with a female avatar) are just there for some quick sex.  
          I want to thank Dorina not only for this interview and her frank and candid answers.  She maintains her own blog which while not current does give a fun account of her early days in SL. 
          Below, I’ve included a link to a picture of Dorina and some BDSM sites that I’ve visited inworld.  My pictures do not do any of the sites justice, please visit them if you can! 
          As always, I’m grateful to all for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives.
I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at . 

          If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life
please click here.

Photo No. 1 Dorina Slade

Photo No. 10 Dominari Dance Floor

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