How We Live in Second Life

 It is nothing to die. It is frightful not to live.

Victor Hugo

          Recently, I’ve been running around a lot in Real Life (RL).

          Nothing out of the ordinary, the usual stuff that we all have to deal with in one form or another.  Relationships, family, career, health, and all the hum drum things that comprise the human experience.  (Sounds awfully boring when I say it that way doesn’t it?)   

          Don’t get me wrong.  There are many things going on in my life that make me feel great every day.  Significant Other, friends, having a job in this crazy economy that we live in. 

          In the midst of all this running around, I somehow manage a few moments to stop and think about my other life, the one that I have in Second Life (SL).  (Significant Other pats me on the head, smiles indulgently, says “Whatever!” and exits the room.)  I ask myself (Don’t worry, I may talk to myself but I never argue with myself.) how do our real lives differ from our second lives inworld or do they even differ?  (Notice how I subtly switched from the singular to the plural and included all of you in my cerebral meanderings?)

          Are our lives really that different inworld from whom those we lead out here in reality?  (Now, you know why Significant Other left the room.) 

          What are our real lives about after all?  How do they affect our second lives?  If they even do. 

          I believe that are three aspects to our lives, the social, educational, and economic.

          Social involves the interaction of the individual with the community including the immediate family and extended social groups (real as well as virtual).  Sexual relations would also be lumped in here as well. 

          Educational involves how an individual learns to exist in the world around him or her and to survive once they leave their families.  This includes both formal and informal education.  Common sense and what Americans like to call “street smarts” would be here as well.

          Economic is how an individual supports himself or herself from either a subsistence level or all the way up to the level of the “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous”.   

          We do all of these in RL.  For those of us who are in SL, we do many of them as well. 

          How many interact with others inworld either at parties, dancing, or other group functions?  How many have found either friends or partners in SL?  Some have gone so far as to transfer their relationships from virtual to real and have married in RL and now have children.  I think I’ve blogged enough about sex in SL that I can safely say it’s there and thriving. 

          Educational pursuits are followed inworld as well.  At the most basic level, residents learn the scripting language that creates all the objects and prims that comprise SL.  There are literary forums in sims like Book Island and 1920’s Berlin.  The latter also is an educational forum about the RL historical period of the city of Berlin.  Recently, I’ve met residents who have told me how they have used SL to learn English as a second language and they are fluent in their interactions with me. 

          As for the economic, earning a living is not really necessary inworld.  Most folks when they need money in SL simply buy more Lindens with RL money.  I’ve met a small number of people inworld who claim to earn a living there, usually just covering their costs, but many others simply go through the motions.  More often than not, they’re mimicking RL.

          Now, there are some things where SL and RL don’t really equate.  I haven’t met too many people who sleep inworld.  (We won’t talk about residents who have fallen asleep in RL while listening to one of my SL monologues.) 

          Despite some very impressive displays of food and drink inworld, we don’t eat.  At least not for sustenance.  (An interesting idea if there is ever a next generation of SL.) 

          Or, how about this one, travel. While planes, trains, ships, cars, and virtually every other form of transportation known to man in RL exists inworld, most simply teleport to get around. 

          So, to bring some order and a conclusion to these meanderings of mine, while our real and virtual lives overlap in SL, many seem to be extending their real lives inworld.  Of course, many are also trying things out that they can’t in RL for one reason or another. (BDSM comes to mind.)   

          My question is are we simply avatars existing in a virtual world or are we extensions of our RL selves into a virtual world?

          I’m still puzzling this one.  What do you think?    

As always, I’m grateful to all inworld for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives.    

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

          If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here. 

What Second Life Means to Me

In the end, it’s not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away. 

Shing Xiong

 

               I’ve been thinking again.

          Yes, as Significant Other continually reminds me this is always dangerous, even in Real Life (RL) and not just in Second Life (SL). 

          The question is where all this could lead to and not whether or not I have too much time on my hands. 

          I’ve been thinking about what SL means to me. 

          After over two years of traveling across the Grid, meeting new friends, and having new experiences, I’m stopping to think about what SL means to me.  (Don’t laugh, I’ve talked with many of you inworld and I know you’re having similar thoughts.) 

          At the most basic level, SL means three things to me.  First, a sense of community among residents.  People are coming together inworld for a variety of reasons, fashion, music, BDSM, or just hanging  out.  They are serious about these interests and they enjoy meeting others of similar inclinations and sharing whatever it is they have. 

          Next is friendship.  People tend to meet up with other people whose company they enjoy for whatever reason.  I know I have friends inworld whom I enjoy meeting with regularly and heading out across the Grid together.  I confess to feeling good when I’m logged in and someone IM’s to just say hello and check in on how I’m doing.  Why would I feel any different about this inworld than I would in RL?  (As I’ve stated before many times, I do have friends and a social life in RL even if Significant Other requests that I keep them outside our home.) 

          Finally, there’s the feeling of never knowing what happens next inworld.  Starting from a very prim and conservative position, I now wander around nude and interview people about their BDSM practices.  Perryn Peterson can always be counted on for a new idea for a party and a hunt, and something different and new always seems to be around the next corner. 

          How did things change for me inworld?

          This was an interesting question for me.  My original premise coming inworld was to go walkabout.  I’d believed that the SL technology and the builds were the big stories.  Simple, right?  What did I know!

          What changed for me?

          Things inworld were more involved for me than I’d originally thought that they would be.  Instead of a bunch of geeks sitting around coding things and sending rockets to Mars, I found individuals in communities who were having a merry old time for themselves.  (Don’t get me wrong, the geeks are there and they are sending rockets to Mars, they just didn’t seem to be too interested in me.) 

          The individuals whom I interviewed became friends who brought me into their groups and before I knew it, I had a social life inworld.  Who knew?

          These groups went across a diversity of interests and I find I have to continually update my group list as I join new ones and have to delete old ones because of Linden Lab’s limit.  I’m a wanderer and explorer so tend to move along.  Sadly, some groups have just drifted away. 

          Why did my thinking change?

          Well, for one, I now realize that SL is not just about the technology.  Then, people are as complicated inworld as they are in RL. But, most importantly, people in SL are as good as they are in RL.  (I confess to being an unabashed believer in the ultimate goodness of humanity no matter how much we may screw up along the way.) 

          There were other factors as well which developed as I blogged.  Questions like whether or not SL is a game got me thinking initially.  Next came the question of friendship inworld.  People are more than just a bunch of pixels.  As I’m continually reminded as I wander about inworld, there are real people with real feelings behind all those avatars.  Not only that but people help people inworld.  When I temporarily lost access to SL last year (for technical reasons), people helped me stay in contact with others inworld.   After Hurricance Sandy, people reached out to me to see how I was doing.  Finally, I started thinking about our identities inworld (Maybe I do have too much time on my hands.)   Who are we inworld?  Really.  Does SL equate to RL?  Are our second lives an extension of our real lives? 

          Going forward what does SL mean to me?

          Community, friendship, and the unknown will always be part of my SL experience.  A sense of balance with RL is important as well. (Significant Other helps there considerably.)

          But, the SL experience will have to change going forward.  Mobility, a robust virtual economy, and social media will need to be part of the SL experience going forward.  For just as I rarely write letters to anyone in RL anymore, SL will need to add the tools that I use in RL with my social circle.  Otherwise, SL could become nothing more than a fond memory that I’ve outgrown.                 

As always, I’m grateful to all inworld for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives. 

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

          If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here. 

Travel in Second Life

 The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.

Saint Augustine               

                This past week, in Real Life (RL), I took an unexpected trip to Europe for business purposes.  (And, no, for those jokers out there, I was neither deported nor running from Significant Other.  Although, maybe my boss was getting me out of the way.)  Preparing for this trip and taking it got me thinking about travel in Second Life (SL) and what it means to me. 

          Why did I start thinking about travel in SL?

          Well, maybe it had something to with the multiple time zones I had to go through to get to Central Europe.  Or, maybe the packing, hassling through traffic to get to the airport, get checked in, and then wait for my flight.  Oh, did I mention the fun of going through security with the TSA? (Please note that I support security for air travel that doesn’t mean I have to enjoy it.  It’s like a relative who once told me that World War II had to be fought, he just wanted to know why he was the guy stuck in a plane and sent somewhere he never even knew existed to be shot at.) 

          For reasons which seemed beyond my control, like most things in my life, (Significant Other posits that I was a really horrible person somewhere in past life.) I ended up last week hurtling across the Atlantic to arrive in Central Europe (Place names are being withheld to protect the reputation of those countries kind enough to receive me.)  Since I don’t sleep well on aircraft, there is something unnatural about the whole experience, and I had to make a connection to arrive at my destination, I arrived at my hotel just in time for a 93°F heat wave.  (In case you didn’t know, air conditioning is not yet pervasive in some former Warsaw Pact Countries.  Not because of fifty years of Communism as my local friends told me, and yes I can make friends in RL, but after a couple of millennia of more or less accurate weather reports courtesy of some local monks, nobody thought it was a worthwhile investment.  Yeah, they said the same thing about lifeboats on the Titanic.) 

          By now, you may be starting to see why I’m thinking about travel inworld versus RL.  But, it’s more than the vicissitudes of actually moving around.  RL travel makes me realize how much like a kaleidoscope SL is when it comes to travel.  Language and customs come together.  I can stand in a sim and be talking with people from all ends of the world at the same time.  We talk about our respective lives and communities.  We sometimes misunderstand one another. (OK, I’ll admit it, I misunderstand them.)

          How different is this from my standing in a coffee shop, not Starbucks, too far to walk in the heat, in a foreign city talking with people kind enough to speak to me in English because I couldn’t speak theirs?  (I’m American, remember?  We don’t recognize any languages other than American.  L'Académie française has my face on posters in its offices due to my efforts to use their language.) 

          But, we do bring our real lives into SL.  We take our world views, biases, prejudices, and preferences.  These are not always negative but serve as baseline for where many of us begin when we first come inworld.  We experiment in SL where we wouldn’t in RL.  (Don’t worry, I was neither nude while wandering around Central Europe this week nor did I visit any BDSM clubs.) 

          SL is certainly more convenient to visit than many RL locations.  Some may argue that more can be seen or done inworld than in RL.  It’s certainly cheaper.  And, it’s safer.  (Excluding griefing, phishing, and other privacy concerns.) 

          So, as I wrap up, it’s great to be home in RL with Significant Other.  RL is very important but sometimes it can take us away from loved ones and familiar places in a way that SL can’t. 

          As in most things, balance is everything.  RL and SL can both get out of whack.  I’ve seen RL ruin their lives because they spent too much time away from home.  Likewise, people have had their real lives fall apart because of their involvement with SL. 

          Travel gives me time to be alone and think.  (Think long flights in the middle of the night where there is only one overhead light is on in an otherwise dark cabin.)  I pulled these thoughts together while on my journey.  At times like this, I tend to let my mind wander.  (Significant Other cringes at the thought.)  Hopefully, I’ve given you something to think about yourself. 

 As always, I’m grateful to all inworld for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives. 

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

          If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here. 

Sex and the Single Avatar in Second Life VIII – Nude Among the Submissives

 There's the theory that nudity doesn't really make something sexy; the characters and their relationship make it sexy.

Tim Robbins  

               During my wanderings across Second Life (SL), I’ve been nude and I’ve visited BDSM sims.  But, I’ve never done both at the same time.  So, as I’ve been asking myself a lot lately inworld about a lot of things, why not? 

               I decide to head out and visit a few BDSM clubs in the altogether.  I hoped to take a friend along as several had indicated a willingness to accompany me on a jaunt like this but no one is available when I plan to go.  As in most things in my life, both SL and Real Life (RL), I’m on my own.  (Significant Other believes that when I’m off on my misadventures I should be on my own.  However, I’m always welcomed back.) 

          After a quick scan on SL’s search tool, I identify a few BDSM clubs to visit, check to make sure I’m naked (Yes, SL’s etiquette is different, isn’t it?), and off I go. 

          I begin with The Rose Unleashed BDSM Club.  I arrive at a club entrance in front of a marina.  The club is fairly typical if not outright vanilla.  A dance floor, a bar, a discussion area, and a game room (I see my first billiards table in SL here.) upstairs that opens onto the dance floor below form the club.

          When I arrive a few people in various states of dress are dancing out on the dance floor.  I wander about.  A few patrons greet me but seem nonplussed by my state of undress and uninterested in me.  (That’s not a criticism.  Anything less than outright aggression is fine with me.) 

          Walking back to the entrance I see a destination guide and select the “Play House” which TP’s me to another building filled with BDSM furniture and equipment.  No one is around which is a shame because the facilities are fairly complete for a variety of practices.  Since things are quiet, I move onto my next destination.

          My port of call is The Gateway to BDSM where I rezz into an open area in front of several destination boards.  Buildings in a classical Greek motif surround me.  A group of clothed people are sitting around talking and take no notice of me.  (I’m unsure if they were either just politely ignoring me or just too busy talking among themselves.)

          I return to the destination boards and select the “Theme Area” and am TP’d to a large room filled with a few pieces of BDSM equipment. A large image of a crucified woman dominates the space.  But, as at my last destination, no one is about.  I’m noticing a pattern here.  (Although, in fairness, my biological clock may be running contrary to everyone else’s.)  So, once again I move on.

          My third and final stop is Naughtyland BDSM Castle.  I land in a fully enclosed room with no doors or windows.  (I don’t know about anyone else but I hate these places inworld.  What if there’s a fire?  How do you get out?  They’re worse than casinos in Las Vegas.)  The space is crammed with BDSM equipment, furniture, and gaming equipment. 

          A walkway reached by stairs surrounds the open area.  One side has a large fireplace with comfortable armchairs which I avail myself of.  (What?  Walking around like I do would tire anyone out.)  On the other side, several rooms, one made out for private encounters of an intimate nature, open off the walkway.

          Still no one around.  Although I do spot someone nearby on the map whom I IM after reading her profile.  (Always read the profiles, they’re there for a reason.)  She practices Wicca in both SL and RL.  I’ve been trying to meet members of this community inworld for a story and will shortly come back with one about Wicca in SL. 

          From here I return to my home in Nowaki. 

          What have I learned from my nude foray into BDSM in SL?

          First, there are BDSM clubs out there that accept nudity.  What I also learned is that there may not be too many patrons there when you drop in.  Going alone may not be a good strategy. (Unless of course, you’re a wandering blogger who doesn’t know any better.)  Bring along a friend or friends (Wow, imagine that, actually having multiple friends!)  because the facilities are well equipped and can be enjoyed. Of course, varying the times of your visits may produce larger crowds than I encountered.  (And, no, unlike what Siginificant Other suggested, I don’t think all of SL is trying to avoid me!) 

          Next, while most of the clubs have similar facilities and equipment, their styles and layouts vary.  (What’s with all those large black and white posters of women in bondage? Doesn’t anyone ever tie up guys?  Sheesh!)  You should be able to find something you like.  I suspect that the atmosphere and clienteles vary as well.  I only selected three for this story.  There are many more.  Go out, explore! 

          Another observation as I traveled about.  All the clubs have tip jars and notices asking for donations to cover costs.  If you frequent these places regularly please make a donation to help maintain them and remember to tell your friends, or strangers for that matter, if you enjoyed yourself.   

          Below please find links to some pictures that I took along the way.  Since as Glorf Bulmer  would say we’re not that sort of blog, everyone has their clothes on.  But you can see the clubs.  Go inworld if you want to see anything else! 

 As always, I’m grateful to all inworld for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives. 

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

          If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here. 

 

Photo No. 1  The Rose Unleashed Club - Entrance

Photo No. 2  The Rose Unleashed Club – Destination Guide

Photo No. 3  The Rose Unleashed Club – The Play House I

Photo No. 4  The Rose Unleashed Club – The Play House II

Photo No. 5  The Rose Unleashed Club – The Play House III

Photo No. 6  The Rose Unleashed Club – The Play House IV

Photo No. 7  The Gateway to BDSM - LZ

Photo No. 8  The Gateway to BDSM – Destination Guide

Photo No. 9  The Gateway to BDSM – Theme Area I

Photo No. 10   The Gateway to BDSM – Theme Area II

Photo No. 11  The Gateway to BDSM – Theme Area III

Photo No. 12  Naughtyland BDSM Castle - LZ

Photo No. 13  Naughtyland BDSM Castle I – Truth or Dare Game

Photo No. 14  Naughtyland BDSM Castle II – Bedroom

Photo No. 15  Naughtyland BDSM Castle III - Fireplace                  

Two Years in Second Life

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.

T.S. Eliot, Four Quartets

 

               OK, I’ve blinked my eyes again and another year has passed.  About this time last year when I blogged about how quickly the prior year had gone by since my first blog in my Second Life (SL) journey, I’d written that the next twelve months would go by just as quickly.  And then, poof!  Here I am another year later at the second anniversary of beginning to blog about SL.  

          Since I have started the tradition of looking back and reminiscing about what I’ve done and haven’t done, I plan to meet expectations and do just that in this story.  (For those of my faithful readers who’d rather stick a needle in their eye than trip down memory lane with me, please go read my stories that you haven’t gotten to yet.  We’ll catch up next week.) 

          To recap for those of you who are just joining (or those of you who haven’t been paying attention), I began blogging about SL because I wanted to share with a larger audience my wanderings about the Grid.  Why was I even on the Grid in the first place?  Well, traveling about in Real Life (RL) is no longer an option for me as it once was.  (Significant Other still expects me home on a regular basis and quite rightly insists on a forwarding address those few times that I do get about these days.)  Also, I’d read the blog of Bunky Snowbear who had tried to walk across the SL grid before giving up.  I thought to myself, “Why not?”  (I’m still working with him to schedule an interview.  Bunky’s working in the SL film industry these days and has a great story to tell.) 

          So, I found myself slowly getting drawn into SL.  After a fairly conventional start inworld, I began to push the edges of the envelope in my second year.  I began spending more time among nudists and naturists.  (There is a difference between the two communities.  Trust me they’ll let you know what it is.)  Significant Other claims that I just don’t like getting dressed.  (It does answer the what to wear question very easily.) I visited BDSM sims.  I started to blog about sex in SL (Who knew there was birth control inworld?)  which led to my new regular series, Sex and the Single Avatar in Second Life. 

          For those who may be worried that I’m slowly turning into an oversexed, dirty, old avatar in SL, not to worry.  (Significant Other ROFL at the idea.)  I’ve been visiting and writing about other topics.  One of my goals has been to reach out to the various communities and experiences available inworld. 

          I found a community of pirates, visited Ancient Alexandria, interviewed two RL professors who had written a book about virtual worlds, wrote about the impact of Hurricane Sandy on the SL community, and visited several art galleries.  I also found time to enjoy myself and go out dancing with a friend. 

          What I’ve learned from all of this is that SL communities are real people who are in SL for their own personal reasons.  As I’m always reminded as I travel about inworld, there are real people with real feelings behind all those avatars.  I found this out myself from the outpouring of concern and well wishes I received from my inworld friends when they realized that I was literally in the eye of the storm of Hurricane Sandy. 

          I began another series, The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World in Second Life, in my blog where I visit recreations of ancient RL monuments in SL.  This has been an interesting project for two reasons.  First, the quality of work in creating these monuments is very high yet no one is ever around when I visit.  They are ghost towns.  Next, these stories are among some of my lowest read.  I guess the builders and I have to commiserate about here.  As I travel about inworld, I find this in many other sims, beautiful work deserted and empty.  In communicating with Bunky, he gave this as one of the main reasons as to why he abandoned his trek across the Grid.  No one was ever around as he traveled.  (Even in SL we’re social beings.)  I do worry about the long term implications of this for SL. How long will residents continue to pay for sims that remain unvisited?    

          I also spent time with my good friend, Perryn Peterson, and the steampunk community.  I’m still in awe of all the various projects and holiday celebrations he always seems to have underway not to mention STEAM: The Hunt the Renaissance Faire. 

          Spending as much time as I do inworld (Don’t worry about me losing touch with RL, Significant Other keeps me grounded in reality.)  I have a chance to think about some of the deep ideas about virtual life.  (Be warned, this is where things start to get heavy.)   I blogged about the communal aspects of life inworld.  Topics included friendship, social life, and the viability of SL as a civilization.  (I warned you.)  Humor was another one of looks at how we interact with one another inworld.  And, yes, fortunately we do have a sense of humor in SL. 

          These cerebral meanderings got me wondering about who we are in SL.  Do we have an identity?  Combined with my scribbles about the five senses inworld and I’m beginning to believe that there is a blurring of our real lives and our second lives.  (In RL, this is typically where my friends begin to leave the room.) 

          I then found myself blogging about trust and loss in SL.  After two years inworld, I’ve made friends and I’ve lost them.  Sometimes I know why.  Sometimes I don’t.  They just go away quietly.  We open ourselves up to one another in SL on a personal level when we stop and talk. We share feelings and thoughts.  RL issues sometimes come through. Family and economic concerns from RL are hard to miss even if the other party is not speaking of them specifically.  Their pain comes through. 

          SL’s dirty little secret got a lookover from me as well as the not so little dirty secret, bullying.  The former was bit tongue in cheek, the latter definitely not.  I was serious there.  Behaviors inworld parallel those in RL.  Good as well as bad.  We can’t look at SL simply as a game with no consequences. 

          I still look at the economics of SL.  I recently blogged about bitcoin and its availability inworld.  I’ve questioned the future of SL and Linden Lab’s (LL) responsibility for it.  One project on my drawing board is a new series in my blog entitled Shoemaker’s Children where I’ll blog about SL’s shortcomings and what LL needs to do to rectify them.  (I feel that I’ve finally arrived when I can criticize LL.) 

          As for my most recent attempt at a personal makeover inworld, probably the less said the better. 

          During this past year, I’ve lost touch with friends and communities because I keep traveling and moving along.  I’m juggling projects and schedules.  (I won’t even go into what RL is all about these days.)  I’m probably not the best friend to have inworld but to all who put up with me, I’m grateful for your support and friendship! 

          What have I learned in the past year?  Primarily, that SL is all about the people.  The RL people behind all those avatars.  The clothes, the bodies, the prims, scripts, and all the rest of it is secondary to the real people with real lives who make it all happen. 

          Going forward, I’ll continue my weekly blogs.  (I’m surprised I’ve been able to keep it up for as long as I have.)  I try to post more frequently.  I’ll also try to add to the variety of stories and I’m always open to ideas from my readers for new stories. 

          Next month is the tenth anniversary of SL’s launching. I’ll be dropping by the inworld celebrations.  As a rule, I generally avoid events like this but a tenth anniversary is an important one and I’d like to join everyone for the festivities and look forward to another ten years inworld. 

 As always, I’m grateful to all inworld for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives.  I couldn’t possibly list everyone but you know who you are and please accept my humble thanks.  For those who have left SL and may not see this, you’re still remembered and I hope to meet up with you again.  May your real lives be happy and secure! 

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

     If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.