There Is Good in Second Life!

Feeling lost, crazy and desperate belongs to a good life as much as optimism, certainty and reason. 

Alain de Botton

Several of my recent stories have not been about the best in Second Life (SL).

The story before this one was about the sexual harassment of women inworld.  An earlier one was concerned with the fear that some residents have experienced at the hands of other residents.  And, over time, I’ve put a harsh light on dark spots in SL. 

Some of my friends, both in SL and in Real Life (RL), have asked me if maybe I’ve been overdoing things a bit.  Or, if things are so bad, why do I even stay?

Significant Other remarked that I seem to enjoy my time inworld and being with my friends.  There hadn’t ever been a sense of dread on my part in rezzing inworld. 

Others have asked if things are really that bad?

My answer is this:

No, SL is really not that bad overall!

I genuinely enjoy my time inworld and being with the people whom I meet.

Yes, there are bad actors who need to be called out.  But, I never intended to tar the entire community.

Let me explain my thinking.  (Significant Other claims to have done the work and leaves.) 

My reasons for returning to SL are threefold. 

First, there are the people whom I meet.

They are friendly, helpful, and caring.

Next, are the communities that I visit.

They have highly developed social lives, they are supportive of their members and strangers like myself who wander in, and are diverse in more ways than I can list here. 

Finally, there is the sense of belong that I experience by being part of this virtual

community.  Yes, it’s different from RL and offers its own challenges but it’s still an engaging environment.  In many ways, it complements RL.  Remember, SL was one of the earliest forms of social media. 

There are advantages to being in SL.

I’ve just gone over the social benefits.

Next, being involved inworld helps develop a certain technical expertise in order to function inworld.  For some (like me), it’s just the basics.  For others, they become highly skilled in the mechanics of living inworld. 

Last, SL helps those who can’t enjoy RL like many of us.  Health considerations, geographic remoteness, and social constraints preclude some from having the everyday real lives that many of us take for granted.  They can experience inworld what they can’t in RL.

For that matter, how many of us come inworld to do things that we’d never do in RL.  (Trust me, I don’t wander around nude in public in RL.)

Bad behavior should always be called out whenever encountered. 

This should happen in both SL and RL. 

But, let’s never forget that those exhibiting the bad behavior are a small minority.  Although, many times this vocal minority seems like the majority, they’re not. 

RL is no better than SL.  We have losers there too.

But, we don’t abandon RL because of them and we shouldn’t abandon SL either.

If the decent SL residents whom I described above were all to leave then yes, SL would a far worse place than it is today.

But, I’m not leaving.

What about you? 

As always, I’m grateful to all inworld for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives. 

My Twitter handle is @webspelunker.  Please feel free to follow me and I’d be happy to follow you.

I can be found on Google+ as webspelunker Ghostraven.

My flickr Photostream is located here.

On Skype I’m webspelunker Ghostraven.

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

          If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.

          Open roads and kind fires!

Sexual Harassment in Second Life

Practically, speaking up against street harassment is not about being a hero, getting credit points to be in the good books of a girl or a chance to impress anyone. It is about making sure that everyone has the right to enjoy that spring breeze, golden clouds and chirping without feeling uncomfortable. 

Shahla Khan, Friends With Benefits: Rethinking Friendship, Dating & Violence

  

From the title of this story, I hope you understand that this will be a serious one.

(Significant Other nods approvingly.)

I’ve been meaning to do this story for a while.  But, recent developments in Real Life (R) in my country’s Presidential election (My apologies to the world for this one.) made it imperative, I felt, to get this story posted now.

(Significant Other tells me to hurry up and get to the point.)

I’m going to write about sexual harassment of women in Second Life (SL) from the perspective of one of its victims. 

Unlike my usual blog postings on serious topics where I’m removed and taking an almost academic approach, this one is up close and personal. 

This article is based on an interview with an inworld friend of mine.

Her name is Katelyn and in RL she’s a woman too.

We met during my frequent perambulations across the Grid. 

She was always alone and in a place with little traffic.

Naturally, being the inquisitive sort that I am, I asked why.

Her answer angered me because she told me that by doing this she receives much less sexual harassment. 

So, a talented woman comes into SL and practically hides from the community because of the abuse she receives.

Am I the only one who sees the problem here?

Katelyn and I have talked about this issue a few times and I asked her if she would allow me to interview her for this story.  She readily agreed and also permitted me to use her name. 

We both felt that RL events made this a timely and necessary discussion.

This is Katelyn’s story.

Katelyn came inworld originally like many do. 

 She wasn’t really socializing much in RL because of university workloads and the rest of what life throws at us when a friend of hers who used SL, got her to sign up thinking it would help her socialize a bit, even if not directly face-to-face with others.  So, Katelyn started meeting many people, and made some friends.  But, she found it to be a lot like RL.  People really aren’t that different no matter whether you’re looking online or offline. 

I asked about the frequency of sexual harassment that Katelyn’s experienced inworld. 

She laughed and that told me all I needed to know.

Katelyn added that you quickly lose count.  Some of it is fairly tame, she explains but some not-so-much. 

My next question was about the differences between her experiences of sexual harassment in SL, and what she’d endured in RL and how they differed?

Katelyn replied that people gain a lot more confidence when they are anonymous.  So, in SL its more frequent but the harassment itself isn’t really that different. Although in SL, she would say there are more direct propositions, whereas in RL its more comments about your appearance. 

Why do people act this way in SL, is it just the anonymity, I put to her.

Katelyn thought the reason depends on the person.  She couldn’t really say what drives them.  She does think the anonymity just brings out who they really are. 

I ask Katelyn if anything ever be done about it. 

She explains to me that there is a culture on the internet over the past several years where it has become "cool" to harass and "troll" especially vulnerable people and women.  Katelyn doesn’t think there is much we can do online, we can ban and we can block.  But, that’s just treating a symptom.  The real problem is in RL and the lack of respect people tend to have these days.  (Anyone who doubts this should just read some the media reports about the current US Presidential election.) 

Then I ask about what specific actions could be taken by victims to stop this behavior.

Katelyn laughed again.  (I learned in this interview what a really sharp wit she has.)

She said that she was not like most people and that she finds mockery works.  But, it depends on her mood. 

Continuing, Katelyn said that, sadly, she doesn’t think reporting really works at least not to Linden Lab.  Their response, and most people's response, is "block them."  Which doesn’t help when things have already been said or done, and doesn’t help if the person takes things to a public channel and say things about you and you cannot see them to defend yourself, she explained. 

I asked her what are some sims worse than others for sexual harassment. 

Katelyn replied definitely.   She finds the info hubs, full of "noobs", to be pretty bad because that’s where they come in with no idea about etiquette in SL even though common sense would say to default to RL etiquette.  Those people still see SL as a "game" though which is actually a whole other thing she issues with.  Also, the free nude places are centers of sexual harassment. 

My final question to Katelyn was how has this colored her SL experience.

She laughed and said that it’s made her a lot like she was in RL before joining.  She keeps to herself, she rarely IM’s anyone. If someone IM's her then she judges them based on their opening few sentences.  She will read their profile to get an idea of what they are going to be like and if it doesn’t meet a certain standard she doesn’t even bother responding.  Katelyn finds it easier that way. 

Katelyn shared a story with me about just how bad sexual harassment can be inworld.

Once, to try and get away from it, she adopted the form of a cat.  Some guy IM’d her asking for sex.  She said that she was a cat.  He replied that he didn’t care.

Imagine getting propositions like that every time you rezzed inworld! 

(One female friend of mine keeps a male alt avatar handy when she needs to come inworld and wants to avoid sexual harassment.  This alt has only been harassed twice compared to the countless times when she presented herself as a female.)

I wish that I could just write, “Knock it off, guys!” and that would be that.

Sadly, life’s not that simple.

But, I’ll still say it, “Knock it off guys!”

(Although, the ones who really need that message probably don’t read this blog.)

But, we can support women like Katelyn when we see this boorish behavior.  We can call it out.  We can ban or block bad actors from our communities and monitor the behavior in them to ensure that they are safe places for women. 

Most of all, we have to all the Katelyns inworld in our communities, befriend them, and let them know that they’re not alone! 

I want to thank Katelyn for her courage in coming out to speak about this problem inworld.  SL needs more people like her and we can’t afford to lose them.  I’d also like to thank her for taking the time to meet with me and to answer my questions. 

As always, I’m grateful to all inworld for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives. 

My Twitter handle is @webspelunker.  Please feel free to follow me and I’d be happy to follow you.

I can be found on Google+ as webspelunker Ghostraven.

My flickr Photostream is located here.

On Skype I’m webspelunker Ghostraven.

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

            If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.

            Open roads and kind fires!

Are You Ever Afraid in Second Life?

 

An unpleasant emotion caused by being aware of danger : a feeling of respect and wonder for something very powerful.

Definition of “afraid” from Merriam-Webster  

 

What is fear? 

(Significant Other already doesn’t like where this one is going.)

OK, we’ve all been afraid at one time or another.

In Real Life (RL), we experience nightmares, (No, I’m not Significant Other’s!) we go to horror films, or we go to staff meetings where we work.  (Sorry, hope I didn’t freak anyone

out with that last one.)

But, what about Second Life (SL)?

Have you ever been afraid inworld?

Let’s talk about that!

I believe that there are two types of fear in SL.

The first type is the good type, it’s fun and innocent.

(Significant Other would like to remind everyone who is making this statement.)

We go to scary places during Halloween.   

Or, there was the time a “good” friend locked in a fun house inworld with a bunch of homicidal clowns.  (Significant Other almost made me stop going inworld after that one.)

Or, any number of experiences and places that are created for us to scare ourselves.  We know it’s not real.  We place ourselves there voluntarily and can walk away whenever we want.

Then there’s the other type, the bad.

The bad is when others go about harming others and the victims are become fearful. 

What am I talking about?

I’m talking about bullying, sexism, homophobia, and harassment.

The victims of these behaviors become afraid.

They either don’t return to SL or they modify their behaviors to avoid the fear and have a less than enjoyable experience inworld accordingly. 

Let’s talk about that last point for a moment.

Whenever good, decent residents who could add to the community in any number of ways curtail their participation because they’re fearful then we all lose.

Who knows what the implications are for these victims?

Many are already fearful in RL.  SL behaviors can have an adverse effect on their RL situations. 

All this contributes to a coarsening of our culture in both SL and and RL.

(Lord knows, the recent US Presidential campaign has shown us just how coarse things can get.)

Why do people do this to other people?

Alright, I know, if I could answer this question then I won’t need my day job.

I’m going to take a stab anyway.

The anonymity we all enjoy inworld gives some a feeling of empowerment that they can get away with things inworld that they would never do in RL. 

There’s the objectification of victims.  (SL really seems to let this one run wild.)

But, what do we do about this?

We can’t just stand by and watch helplessly.

We have to call out this behavior and let people know it’s wrong. 

We have to support its victims, befriend them, and bring them into our groups.

Both SL and RL are at a crossroads now, let’s not lose this chance to show some decency somewhere, even if it’s only virtual!

(Significant Other likes how this one turned out, was afraid I was going to do something stupid.)

As always, I’m grateful to all inworld for their kindness and time in stopping to talk

with a stranger who was passing through their lives. 

My Twitter handle is @webspelunker.  Please feel free to follow me and I’d be happy to follow you.

I can be found on Google+ as webspelunker Ghostraven.

My flickr Photostream is located here.

On Skype I’m webspelunker Ghostraven.

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

          If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.

          Open roads and kind fires!

Halloween Returns to Second Life!

The wind outside nested in each tree, prowled the sidewalks in invisible treads like unseen cats, Tom Skelton shivered. Anyone could see that the wind was a special wind this night, and the darkness took on a special feel because it was All Hallows' Eve. Everything seemed cut from soft black velvet or gold or orange velvet. Smoke panted up out of a thousand chimneys like the plumes of funeral parades. From kitchen windows drifted two pumpkin smells: gourds being cut, pies being baked.

Ray Bradbury, The Halloween Tree

Autumn always means the arrival of one of my favorite holidays!

In fact, the entire Yuletide Holiday season begins for me with this holiday.  (Growing up, things were kind of dull for me except for this time of the year so I made the most of it.)

Of course, that holiday is Halloween!    

Whether it be in Second Life (SL) or Real Life (RL)! 

(I did lead a futile effort to have it made an official school holiday in my youth.  This was the first of many experiences that I had with the overbearing weight of authority while growing up.) 

Although, it’s been a while since I wore a costume for the event (Significant Other is grateful for the small things.) I always look forward to it and have plenty of candy for the trick or treaters who come by. 

This time of the year is also when Perryn Peterson reaches out to let me know what his band at Mieville has planned and allows me the privilege of a quick preview of what’s planned.    

Things are a little different this year at Mieville though.

Wyvern Dryke, a longstanding member of the Mieville community ran the build and the whole show was his.   

Wyvern had big shoes to fill following in Perryn’s footsteps but he’s done an amazing job!    

The event is called Nawlins Halloween: Haunted Mardi Gras. 

The theme is Mardi Gras mixed with Halloween: think celebration, Samhain, spooks, Voodoo, swamps, and bright Mardi Gras and Halloween colors such as gold, green, and

purple.  Think decadence and celebration of life in death. 

Think of all of these things and you have the Mieville Halloween for this year!

The look and feel is different this year.  It seems more overcast and gloomy. Maybe the darkened skies with lightning are creating this moody environment.  (Be warned, I was the kid who went through the haunted house multiple times on the school trip.  I’ll ignore Significant Other’s comment about that explaining a lot.)

The physical layout is different too.  There appears to be less of a grid format as in past events and more of a randomness to things.  I kept getting lost during my visit.  (Significant Other asks what else is new.)

In a word, it feels sinister which is what Halloween is supposed to feel like!  (Safely sinister like that haunted house I kept going back to in RL.) 

Walking around the grounds, when not trying to get lost, the atmosphere felt ominous.  A sense of impending doom.  (Significant Other suggests it’s blowback from the ongoing US Presidential election.) Maybe this is because things really are different.

Some sights and sounds are familiar but many are different.

Pumpkins, witches, and clowns (the scary sort) abound.  Ghosts dance in storefronts.  The event is a celebration of color.  Amusements are available for those who haven’t been frightened out of their wits.  Make sure to check out the Magic Mirror at

Madame Magda’s, just ask yes or no questions in local chat and solve all your problems.  (Neither Mielville nor I take any responsibility for the consequences of doing so.)

And, there will be plenty to see and do, entertainment, gachas, shopping,food and drinks, parades, dances and much more!  A special building for gachas is being provided.

Dozens of merchants will be participating and will have their wares on display.  A Trick-or-Treat mini-hunt especially designed by Wyvern will be taking place with gifts from many of the participating merchants. 

This year’s Halloween celebration in Mieville is different from earlier ones but no less fun and exciting. As always, the considerable efforts of Wyvern, his team, and the merchants are realized in this scary spectacle! 

Mieville’s Halloween celebration is still the “go to” seasonal event inworld!

The fun runs from October 7^th to October 31^st, Halloween itself! 

The celebration can be found here. 

Come, have fun, and maybe be a little bit frightened!

I’d like to thank Perryn for giving me the scoop as always and Wyvern for his

extraordinary efforts in pulling together this year’s Halloween festival!

I’d also like to thank my Companion who supplied all the pictures used in this story and that can also be found on this flickr page.  (She’s also grateful that this assignment allowed her to keep her clothes on given how cool the Halloween air can be.) 

As always, I’m grateful to all inworld for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives. 

My Twitter handle is @webspelunker.  Please feel free to follow me and I’d be happy to follow you.

I can be found on Google+ as webspelunker Ghostraven.

My flickr Photostream is located here.

On Skype I’m webspelunker Ghostraven.

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

            If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.

            Open roads and kind fires!

Sex and the Single Avatar in Second Life XVIII – A Visit to a Newly Discovered Nudist Resort in Second Life

Find me under the palms.

Anonymous

Wandering about in Second Life (SL) as I’m wont to do, an acquaintance recently recommended a nudist resort to me that I hadn’t heard of before.  (Significant Other seems shocked thinking I’d seen them all.) 

Intrigued, (Significant Other asks what else is new.) I made plans to visit and to check it out.

The resort is called Isla de Amores and I visited a few times to see what it was all about.  During one of these visits, I met Charlie Miami, the owner/operator, who agreed to

an interview with me.

The following story is based on that interview and my visits. 

Charlie is an old SL hand.

He began his time inworld as a guard at Wild Coast, a naturist sim.  Charlie says that he remembers me from my earlier visits there and I vaguely remember him.  (Significant Other suggests that I was more interested in certain other residents.) He left Wild Coast to establish Miami Properties with a partner but closed down that venture when the partner had to leave SL.  Charlie says that it’s hard to be a land business inworld unless you have a niche.

Isla de Amores was Charlie’s next venture inworld.  Being a naturist in Real Life (RL) when he can, he decided to go back to his roots inworld.  The resort was first opened for Charlie’s friends and then to the public in April 2015. 

Charlie believes that nudity and sex are part of human nature.  Some lean to it more than others, he’s one of the ones who leans to it.  The goal at Isla de Amores is for people to come and enjoy his efforts there.  It is a way to give back to the community by making it available to all free of charge. 

Designing and staying on top of the latest trends in furniture inworld is a pastime for Charlie.  (Remember this is an adult sim so we’re talking sex here folks!)  He has a large inventory of animations spread all over the sim, even the starfish have them!  Some of these

animations are custom made exclusively for Charlie and can be found nowhere else inworld.  This adds to the uniqueness of Isla de Amores.  I’ve checked out several of these and the variety offered is indeed broad and original.  (No more details, we’re still not that kind of blog!  Check them out for yourselves.)

Isla de Amores does accept donations from visitors but there is only one donation barrel located at its entrance.  Charlie’s not in it for the money.  While other sims have closed for lack of funding, he has no intention of doing so. 

Interestingly, the resort is clothing optional.  Nudity is not a requirement.  Group membership is a requirement but is free.  Charlie says this helps to keep poor behavior out.  All sexual preferences are respected.  Al that is asked is that everyone be kind and respectful to one another. 

There are no planned social events because Isla de Amores is only a homestead with a limit of twenty avatars at any one time which does preclude large gatherings.  Treasure hunts have been held in the past and may occur again in the future. 

Only adult human avatars are allowed entrance.  Attached ears, tails, and wings are allowed.  Complete animal or fantasy avatars are not.  Visitors who appear in such form are politely asked to switch to human form.

Isla de Amores is comprised of a series of small islets connected by narrow walkways or accessible by wading through shallow water.  Lush, tropical foliage covers them.  Highly detailed palm trees, tropical flowers, shrubs and bushes are scattered across

the sim giving a very lifelike effect.  The grounds alone are worth a visit.  Beautiful, small beaches offering privacy and opportunities for couples to be intimate are washed by waves.  Colorful birds fly overhead.  Waterfalls and rock formations complete the natural settings.

Small huts and cabins are available for use by visitors.  Row boats are moored along the shore.  Lounge chairs, blankets, and dance balls can be found on the beaches.  (Remember what I said earlier about the unique animations!)  Ruins for exploring are also hidden in the underbrush. 

There is a teleport to take visitors to the more popular places.  (My BDSM friends may be interested in the Red Room in particular.) 

I strongly recommend Isla de Amores to anyone who is interested in a quiet, enjoyable, tropical nudist resort in SL.  Since it’s clothing optional, as long as no one minds others being nude, the resort is well worth visiting to see how a beautiful, tropical resort can be constructed inworld. 

Isla de Amores is unique for being a very well laid out resort which is not cookie cutter produced like other sims inworld.  The use of multiple islands breaks it up allowing for

more beaches and private places.  (OK, I’ll admit it, I get lost every time I go there.  Significant Other is only surprised that I’ve admitted that.)  And, don’t forget those animations that are unique solely to Isla de Amores!

I hope that you’ll visit Isla de Amores and enjoy yourselves!

Who knows?  Maybe you’ll run into me!

Isla de Amores can be found here.

I’d like to thank Charlie Miami for meeting with me and for creating such a wonderful addition to the nudist community inworld!

I’d also like to thank my Companion who supplied all the pictures used in this story and that can also be found on this flickr page.  (She also keeps asking why I seem to only send her to nudist resorts.) 

As always, I’m grateful to all inworld for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives. 

My Twitter handle is @webspelunker.  Please feel free to follow me and I’d be happy to follow you.

I can be found on Google+ as webspelunker Ghostraven.

My flickr Photostream is located here.

On Skype I’m webspelunker Ghostraven.

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

            If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.

            Open roads and kind fires!