Among the Naturists

What spirit is so empty and blind, that it cannot recognize the fact that the foot is more noble than the shoe, and skin more beautiful that the garment with which it is clothed?

Michaelangelo

          Earlier, when I blogged about my two visits to a nudist function in the 1920’s Berlin sim in Second Life, a couple of readers commented that if I was interested in checking out nudism inworld then I should visit The Wild Coast Naturist Resort.  I was told that this was a full time nudist location with decorum. 

          Well, I’m not always sure if places known for their decorum will necessarily want to have anything to do with me.  But, I’ve gotten used to rejection in life, both SL and Real Life (SL).  So, I decide to go visit. 

          Wild Coast is a nudity required sim.  Here, I was committing to more than an hour in a controlled environment as I’d done on my two previous forays into nudity.  But, after having wandered around strangers with all of us nude previously, this didn’t seem like all that much of a big deal anymore.  (Maybe there is something to the old saying that once you start doing it, it becomes natural.  Sorry, bad joke.)

          During one of my initial research trips, I met Sweety Basevi who functions as the general manager for the resort.  She agreed to meet me for an interview and I was all set.

          Before I go any further, I want to talk about terminology.  (Give me a break, I’m a writer, words are very important to me.)  I keep saying “nudist” or use derivations of the word.  Sweety very quickly pointed put to me that Wild Coast is a naturist (Caution: link contains pictures of nudity.) and not a nudist resort like other sims inworld.  Looking at the resort’s rules shows why.  Wild Coast is naturist in the classic sense.  People come together in a state of undress to enjoy one another’s company and enjoy SL unclothed just as naturists do in RL.  Public sexual displays are frowned upon and can get one booted out.  One prominent rule posted in Wild Coast is that men cannot have erections because Wild Coast is a mature sim in SL parlance and from a female perspective, it is threatening and intrusive.  (If only RL were that simple.)  There is another sim, Turtle Coast, which is an adult sim and is more liberal.  (Now that I’m so comfortable running around in the altogether, maybe another story in the future?) 

          With that cleared up, let me return to my interview with Sweety.  Like me she is nude.  Standing a little shorter than me (Come to think of it, how tall am I in SL?) with windblown (Aren’t AO’s something else?) shoulder length brunette hair, and tattoos, she is tanned from all her inworld hours spent at the beach.  (Look, if I said it was all the result of some clever programming in somebody’s basement in Detroit, it just wouldn’t have sounded as good would it?) 

          We meet at the Wild Coast resort at the appointed time and I begin with my questions. I ask about the start of Wild Coast.  Sweety replies that it is the third sim of Kaiya Islands and when a decision was made five years ago to open it, there was also a decision that it be a naturist site. 

I inquire about the sim’s current moderate rating as opposed to adult.  Sweety explains that this goes back to the earlier PG and mature ratings.  Due to other business activities like land rentals the decision was made to stay with the moderate rating when the ratings changed.  This is when Turtle Coast was established as an adult sim.  She continues saying that flirting is the most typical activity that occurs in Wild Coast and while there are secluded areas affording privacy, they are very careful about staying within the ratings guidelines set forth by Linden Lab (LL). 

My next question is about the one time membership fee of $450L charged when one joins.  Sweety explains how the fees help to pay the tiers for the venue, as well as the staff that work here, helping to ensure that everyone has a great time in a welcoming and safe environment.  From my visits, I can say that they have succeeded. 

From my recent visits with the SL BSDM community I know that many there practice the lifestyle in both SL and RL, I ask Sweety if she has seen this with naturism?  She responds that she understands how that can happen and suspects that people may first try naturism in SL and then be more comfortable with it in RL. 

I then ask her about why she’s a naturist in SL.  Sweety says working with the Islands, she goes where she’s needed.  She was a bit reluctant to strip initially she admits.  But after a short period of time, she got over it and now it’s second nature to her to be naked, she laughs as she tells me this.  Sweety says she can now sympathize with people who come here for the first time and are not used to being naked.  (I can sympathize as well.) 

Our conversation turns to how being naked in SL is easier than in RL.  (Those wandering eyes and normal male reactions I’ve written about elsewhere.)  Sweety states that we still associate our avatars with our own feelings and inhibitions.  She observes that once a newcomer has been naked for five minutes or so, they actually stop feeling self-conscious.  I wonder if it has something to do with us looking a lot better in SL than we do in RL? 

Social activities, as Sweety explains, besides the aforementioned flirting, include DJ's, concerts, and parties.  We discuss the appeal of Wild Coast.  Sweety uses terms like welcoming, enjoyable, and safe.  She admits this is probably the result of the controls in place.  There is none of the rude behavior that I’ve seen or friends have reported to me about other sims.  Whenever I arrive, I notice that others are rezzing in as well and as they enter, people call out their names and greet them. I haven’t seen that in too many other places inworld.  There appears to be a very tight community here in Wild Coast.

Sweety rethinks her use of the word “controls” and suggests that it’s more about making sure the rules are followed enhancing the members’ experience.  She speaks of the enjoyable vibes at the resort. 

Sweety also credits the staff for getting and keeping things going, and are truly awesome in her words. The friendliness, she thinks has a lot to do with the members themselves. For her, they are wonderful.  (I get the sense that this woman really loves her job.)  Coincidentally, while interviewing Sweety, a friend IM’s me and asks what I’m doing.  I reply that I’m doing an interview at a naturist resort.  She responds asking if I’m at the most famous one in SL, Wild Coast.  Turns out she’s a member too.  The grid’s getting smaller! 

The membership at 24,000 is very large.  (I wish I had that many readers!)  Average daily traffic for the sim is 19,500 which is another good number.  The biggest problems that Sweety encounters with members are those who try to break the no clothes, no shoes, and no erections rules.  (I have a very open minded SL friend, actually, she’s more of an anarchist, who has a problem with the resort’s no clothes rule.  She believes it’s another imposition of authority.  I’ll probably find her inworld someday dressing in protest of something or other.)

We talk next about what are the most popular spots within Wild Coast with the members.  Sweety says the public area at the arrival point and the main dance area by the beach are probably the two most popular locations at the resort.  The secluded areas are also popular for folks to go off to when they want some privacy to get to know one another better. 

My time with Sweety comes to an end and I thank her before taking my leave. 

Wild Coast is everything that I was told it would be. A friendly, safe, and enjoyable environment fostering friendship among residents.  Besides the social aspects, the resort is beautifully done and always has good mood music playing.  For anyone looking for a naturist experience in SL, I recommend Wild Coast.  Yes, there is a fee.  However, it’s trivial compared to what can be gained. 

The resort, in my opinion, follows in the tradition of RL naturist communities which were about enjoying nature and other people without the restrictions and prejudices brought on by clothing. 

One final point, I paid for my own membership fee to the resort so I could walk about and check things out for myself.  I will also return looking for new material for my blogs. 

I would like to thank Sweety Basevi for her time and openness with me. 

As always, I’m grateful to all for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives. 

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

     If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.

Photo No. 1  Sweety Basevi

Photo No. 2  Wild Coast Arrival Area and Entrance

Photo No. 3  Public Area

Photo No. 4  Members Only Common Area

Photo No. 5  Members Only Secluded Area  

Pushing the Edges of the Envelope

The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow Roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars, and in the middle, you see the blue center-light pop, and everybody goes ahh...

Jack Kerouac

          This is the final installment in my trilogy about Second Life (SL) that I’m writing as part of my first anniversary celebration of blogging about SL.  My first blog was a look back on my first year inworld.  The next was about how I write my blogs.  The third will take a more forwarding looking view. 

          One interesting aspect of SL that I’ve noticed about many residents is about their behaviors.  First, how many do things in SL they would never do in Real Life (RL)?  Then, there are those who do in SL what they do in RL but go over the top while they’re doing it. 

          All of them are pushing the edges of the envelope inworld as regards what they’re comfortable doing with others.  Myself, as I’ve reported in recent blogs, I’ve been nude at several functions and have been visiting BSDM clubs inworld.  (Trust me, I haven’t the nerve to do any of these in RL.  Plus, Significant Other has major input into my social life and acquaintances.) 

          While I’ve been inworld observing these happenings, I’ve been wondering why do people do this?  Act in a manner in a virtual world that they wouldn’t in reality.  I’ve come to a few conclusions.  (Warning this is an unscientific survey and definitely reflects the author’s prejudices and biases.)

          First, I believe people act out because of curiosity or a desire to experiment. What is it like?  How do I feel?  Is it fun?  Do I receive any satisfaction (whether emotional or physical) from this activity? 

          Then, there’s the anonymity.  No one knows who I am.  There’s no come back to me. 

          Next up is the relative safety and risk free aspects of whatever it is that I’m doing.  There won’t be physical repercussions.  Relationships won’t crater (at least they shouldn’t).  Unwanted pregnancies and STD’s won’t occur.  I don’t tire or become injured when I overdue it. 

          Now, some may ask, what about me, why do I push the edges of the envelope.  My two favorite excuses, er, I mean reasons, are professional curiosity and anonymity.  The former because my excuse is I’m searching for stories for my readers.  (Don’t you feel guilty now?)  The latter because I don’t have to worry about my friends and family plastering images of me all over the Internet. 

          So, what kinds of edgy behavior are folks engaging in while inworld?   Frankly, there’s a lot.  Let’s just look at the highlights.

          Relationships are one area where many push the edges of the envelope.  Some have SL partners who are not their RL partners.  Sometimes the RL partners know, sometimes they don’t.  (The last is definitely the edgiest.)  The partners may act as romantic partners.  Some go so far as to have children together.  These partnerships may opposite sex or same sex.  I’ve met many inworld who experiment with bi or gay relationships but are straight in RL. 

          Then there’s the perennial favorite of sexual activity.  Cyber sex is for me, by definition, pushing the edges of the envelope.  Somebody’s using all those pose balls lying around all over inworld.  Going further, there’s group sex and BDSM.  I’ve heard rumors of residents having in flagrante delicto in places they shouldn’t.  And, I can’t forget all the strippers, pole dancers, and escorts who are out there.  Not to mention all the shops selling sex organs for avatars. 

          OK, enough with the sex, there’s serious partying going on inworld just about all the time.  Folks just go out on the dance floor and dance and dance… Well, you get the idea. 

          Next, one of my favorite topics in SL, exploring.  Now, some may say how can SL exploring be edgy.  Just remember, this is the guy who spent twenty-fours in SL.  Enough said. 

          Some behaviors being pushed to the edge inworld are technical.  Like my friend, Glorf Bulmer, who I think has built the tallest, free standing tower in SL.   Wagner James Au recently wrote of a giant avatar built in mesh.  

          Another area where I’ve found residents have pushed the edges of the envelope inworld is the area of modeling.  Some expend considerable effort, not to mention money, on clothes, skins, body parts for their avatars, and the list just goes on and on.  Unlike myself and my juvenile efforts to make myself presentable inworld, others take their appearance very seriously.  And, they have the Flickr folios to prove it. 

Finally, and this one is not as much fun to write about, and that’s rude behavior inworld.  (And, I’m not talking about griefing.)  Some people think that when they go inworld they can just say whatever they want and do what they want.  Two friends of mine, Glorf and Lindal Kidd, have recently written about their own experiences. 

          So to the future, what does all this mean for my readers and me?  I want to continue to push the edges of the envelope as I go forward.  I’ll meet some of the participants in these edgy behaviors, and try to either observe or participate myself.  (I see trouble coming.)  And, of course, I’ll report back to all my readers what I find (and whatever trouble I get into). 

          Please come back and check in! 

As always, I’m grateful to all for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives. 

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

     If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.

Visit to a BDSM Club

Night time is really the best time to work. All the ideas are there to be yours because everyone else is asleep.

Catherine O'Hara

Recently, I attended the opening party for a new BDSM club, Domus Dominari Pietas , in Second Life (SL).  I dropped by and had a fun time.  Unfortunately, everyone at the club was busy having a blast and I had to leave for another appointment so I didn’t have much time to talk with the owners about Domus.  However, knowing that my loyal readers (OK, I know there’s at least one of you out there.) would want to know more, I made arrangements to return and have an interview with one of the owners, kitten. 

I return to meet kitten at the club one evening for our interview.  We begin by talking about the Ds family which is behind the club.  Kitten tells me that there is a Real Life (RL) BDSM family behind Domus.  She is one of the newest members and proud of the duality between SL and RL.  For safety reasons, kitten cannot speak about the RL part of their community.  I respect their desire for privacy.  (This isn’t News of the World!)

kitten describes herself as a slavemissive, a term coined by a RL friend of hers.  She does not consider herself property, but feels she is deeper than a sub which is a fine line in between she adds.  Kitten is collared by Master Wey, also an owner of the club.  (She is also the owner of Infinity Photography inworld and I hope to do a story about that at another time.) 

I ask her why she came to the BDSM lifestyle inworld and she replies that she had suffered a loss five years ago which left her masterless.  She shut off her subside completely and came here to see if she could even find her again.  kitten says that she came back with grace. 

Note how kitten refers to her subside as “she”.  I’m learning that subs refer to themselves in almost as many ways as there are subs. When I mention this to her, kitten replies that there is no sub handbook, no cookie cutter form, each sub/slave/slavemissive gives what they and their masters are comfortable with.   kitten hopes each one is different in their own way

I next ask her what satisfaction does she derive in SL as opposed to RL?  Her answer is being with a family 24/7 in both SL and RL is a good platform for roles and rules for an SL/RL relationship.  However, if it’s SL only then at least one can fulfill the inner need to serve and pacify oneself till finding exactly what’s being looked for.

I ask if it’s about the emotional side when inworld.  kitten says that she can’t speak for others, but emotions are first for her. Once a master has the mind and heart, the body will follow.  I then query if there is a physical counterpart to what happens in SL?  She replies again that she can’t speak for others but for her, absolutely, there is.  I continue asking if it’s sexual and she says yes, of course.  Wishing to save this line of questioning for another blog, I turn our interview to a discussion of the club itself. 

I begin by inquiring about the reasons for establishing the club.  kitten explains that the family had been to a few other clubs in SL, some were amazing, others not so much.  They wanted a place comfortable for Ds BDSM lifestylers.  Just family and comfort as she puts it.  This led them to establishing Domus. 

At Domus there would be no judging, all would be welcome.  Master Wey makes the final decisions but all the family members are owners. The only rules are nor griefing, no drama, and everyone plays nice in the sandbox. 

In reply to my query about how well they have been doing, kitten says that they are nearing their one hundredth member.  She adds that they are in no hurry to build membership numbers but prefer quality to quantity.  People being happy is the most important thing for the club. 

kitten continues, explaining about the social life.  The club is still working on a set schedule.  Various events are planned for Saturdays.  Discussion groups for members will be implemented.  There is a Submissive Sisterhood group open to sub sisters for support and guidance and they typically organize club events. 

Besides the main hall which serves as receiving area and dance floor, the club has several other theme rooms which can be TP’d to.  These include the Kitty Room, Bondage Room, Love Grotto, Interrogation Room (I wonder if it would violate journalistic ethics if I were to use this room for my interviews?), Medical Room, Dungeon, and something called the Sin Box.  Then there’s a race track called the Sky Track and I’m still trying to figure out how this fits into the grand scheme of things.  Kitty confirms that these are frequented at all hours of the day. 

My last question to kitten is what would she like my readers to know about the club?

Kitten smiles when she replies.  She wants them to that RL or SL makes no difference when it comes to their desires. 

They can choose to be stifled or can open themselves up to experiences that can enrich their souls.  kitten and her family want to offer that comfort zone to experience new things, either to submit or to dominate.  She adds that people should just be who they’re comfortable being. She explains that’s why one’s “skin” is so important.  (SL residents will understand that analogy.) They have to be comfortable in their skins.

What is really my last question is whether Domus is open to people who are new to BDSM and curious?  kitten says of course they are.  This is why the Submissive Sisterhood group and soon Sub Brotherhood group is coming.  These are “no dom allowed” groups for peer to peer bouncing of ideas and problems.  New and interested people are welcome, and even if it’s not someone’s cup of tea, they are invited to join their gatherings and talks.

At this point, I thank kitten for her time and take my leave.  My visit with her has been interesting and given me some things to think about. First, the connection between RL and SL for this BDSM family and how SL is used as social media. I don’t think Facebook lends itself to what they do.  (I’d like to see a Dungeon in Facebook.)  Next, so far, most people whom I’ve met inworld who are in the BDSM lifestyle also appear to be involved with it to some degree in RL.  Although, I want to be careful of generalizations here.  Finally, the BDSM community inworld is large, diverse, and I haven’t even begun to touch all its facets. 

          I’ll continue my journey across the BDSM community for a while yet.  There are still many people and places I have yet to visit and bring their stories back. 

I want to thank kitten for her time and willingness to share her life with us.  I’m also grateful to Domus for their hospitality.  I would encourage all who are either involved in the BDSM community or who interested in it to check the club out. 

As always, I’m grateful to all for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives. 

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

     If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.

Photo No. 1: kitten I

Photo No. 2: kitten II

Photo No. 3: Domus Main Hall  

How I Write

My personality type was always telling me to pack light, run fast and loose, don’t ask permission, beg forgiveness instead if things went wrong, and improvise your way out of trouble.    

Richard Grant

                                                               

          Since I’ve been blogging for the last year about my travels across Second Life (SL) I’ve been asked by my inworld friends and other acquaintances about how I write.  I think they mean where do the ideas for my stories come from?  Sometimes they ask about what the motivation is behind my blogging.  I think they are going to be surprised about the method to my madness.

          I know many writers (real writers, not hacks like me) have a methodology which they use to produce their stories.  Serial writers of popular fiction have templates which they use to turn out their regular installments like a well tuned assembly line.        

          I, on the other hand, do not follow such conventions.  I like to be a merry wanderer without commitments and deadlines.  (OK, I’ve failed miserably with the last, I do blog regularly.)  However, as I said previously there is a method to my madness and this is what I’m blogging about now. 

          Although, one nice thing about wandering about inworld is that I get to come home to my own bed in Real Life (RL) each evening.  (Virtual worlds have many advantages over reality sometimes.) 

          So what do I do?  Nothing terribly complicated.  I start by going walkabout.  In the beginning, I was looking to meet the various communities inworld and see what they were about.  I’ve been with vampires, nudists, and the BDSM community.  Then I hang around with them for awhile.  (I have to admire how they put up with me.)  I go where my leads take me.  For example, meeting someone in Nowaki, the neighborhood that I live in when inworld, led me to the BDSM community inworld.  Which in turn led to other folks and places. 

          While hanging around (and wearing out my welcome) I try to learn who is in the community.  What do they do?  How are they different from other communities?  Why do they let me hang around?  And, finally, what am I doing there myself? 

          I find myself staying longer and longer within these communities trying to answer these questions.  I’m also finding how open and hospitable folks are in SL. 

          This blog is the second in a trilogy I’m writing on the first anniversary of my beginning to blog about SL.  Next week, I’ll blog about pushing the edges of the envelope in SL.

          I want to thank all those who have helped me and guided me along my way over the course of the last twelve months.  The list is too long to write but I thank each and every one of you.  What I am truly grateful for is how each of you opened yourselves up and gave me something which I could share with the broader group. 

As always, I’m grateful to all for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives. 

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

     If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.

One Year in Second Life

The best things always happened unexpectedly when traveling.  The trick was to keep planning to a minimum and allow plenty of time and opportunity for random encounters, happenstance, and the pursuing of sudden whims. 

Richard Grant

Depending on one’s viewpoint, one year is either a very long time off in the future or it has been the blink of an eye.

For me, since I posted my first blog about my travels and experiences in Second Life (SL) the time has been the blink of an eye.  Something also tells me that the next year, while now seems a long way off, will go by just as quickly as I continue my journeys inworld. 

I thought having just past my first anniversary of blogging about my adventures inworld this would be a good time to stop and reflect about how I’ve spent my time inworld so far.  (Warning, this blog will resemble one of those flashback episodes on television that we all hate so.  However, there may also be teasers about future episodes, er, I mean journeys.  So, dear reader, you decide whether to read on or not. I’m awful aren’t I?)

I began writing because I wanted to share with a larger audience my wanderings about the grid.  Why was I even on the grid in the first place?  Well, traveling about in Real Life (RL) is not an option for me as it once was.  (Significant Other expects me home on a regular basis and quite rightly insists on a forwarding address those few times that I do get about these days.)  Also, I’d read the blog of Bunky Snowbear who had tried to walk across the SL grid before giving up.  I thought to myself, “Why not?”

SL was only meant to be the first step on a journey across the entire Metaverse itself.  But, SL offered opportunities and challenges to me.  How do I even get in?  How do I make myself look presentable?  Then, the big one which has driven away so many noobies, what do I do once I’m inworld?  Can I get a job and cover my costs?

Next thing I know, I own a house in Nowaki and I have many friends whom I’ve met as I’ve crossed and recrossed the grid. 

After figuring out how to exit SL’s arrival center, my next challenge was what should I look like?  I wanted to do this on the cheap (A virtue of mine in RL as well.  Significant Other has another word for it.)  Fortunately, there are many diverse and free options here inworld. Despite the raised eyebrows (Quite a trick inworld.) of some of my SL friends, I created a new look for myself.  My red eyes always draw comments.  (Yes, I know it’s a cheap trick but I couldn’t rely on my personality.) 

So, after finally getting my looks sorted out (Some might say that they still aren’t.  They’re just jealous.), I decided to go out and meet people.  Where to start?  I wanted to investigate the various communities inworld.  I started with nekos, vampires, and steampunks.  Tried to meet goths but that didn’t go anywhere.   I just went out onto the highways and byways of SL, stopped the people I met along the way, and started up conversations.

What I found was a terrific sense of community among those whom I did meet.  I spent considerable time with the vampires of Nulli Secundus.  I even attended a vampire wedding.   

From this starting point, I encountered the cultural life within SL.  I met particle dance performers, musicians, and writers.  Then there is the whole world of fashion.  I met models and designers. 

All of these people opened up their SL lives for me and took the time to tell me about their worlds.  Few ever rejected my request for an interview and in fairness, those that did said they either were too new to SL or didn’t speak English well enough to be able to help.  No one has been rude. 

I found people helping other people.  Fund raisers for RL causes and for SL residents who have issues in RL.  This is more than a game. This is a community that is coming together and becoming something more than World of Warcraft. 

I came across the 1920’s Berlin sim where Frau Jo Yardley and her friends have built an incredible recreation of Weimar Berlin before the madness descended.  Here too is a rich cultural community which I plan to return to in the next year. 

My time inworld has given me a chance to see and think about some of the things that could adversely affect SL.  The first of these was the Great Recession of 2008.  I spent some time trying to gauge its impact on SL.  The clues were all the blogs that seemed to stop at about that time, residents whom nobody had seen in years, and large inworld builds that appeared to be ghost towns where work had just stopped and everyone walked away never to return.  If people continue to leave then eventually the plug’s going to be pulled.  But, then they need a reason to stay, don’t they?  Which leads me to my next topic. 

The other major potential for trouble inworld is Linden Lab (LL) itself.  SL is coming on ten years old soon.  The infrastructure is aging.  What could have been a vibrant virtual economy is moribund.  New mobile technologies like smart phones and tablets are ignored.  Most telling of all, for all the time I’ve spent inworld, I’ve never met a Linden.  For late arrivals like myself, they are the stuff of legend.  Recently, someone told me that a Linden’s appearance inworld is denoted by a blue dot on the maps.  I have never seen a blue dot.  Finally, all the residents I’ve met complain about their tier fees.  This is the company that once graced the cover of Businessweek. 

For myself, I’ve had a few “events” along the way.  When CNN iReports did a technical overhaul last November I lost many of the features which I needed so I’ve been at Blogger ever since. Ironically, the only iReporters meeting that I went to inworld was their last one when they shut the place down.  (Story of my life.)

Next was my Twenty-four Hours in SL series of blogs where I actually spent an entire day inworld.  That was a lot of fun.  I had a chance to reconnect with many friends and revisit a few places that I hadn’t seen in a while.  I also made new friends and went to new place.  That’s the attraction of SL, one can never see it all.  Unfortunately, my one day inworld may have led to the third big event of this past year. 

My third big happening of my year in SL was the crashing of my laptop’s hard drive.  While inworld, I could hear that it was running hard during my twenty-four hour stint.  A RL friend (I do have some.) later said that hard drives can burn if played too hard and too long in an intense simulation like SL.  OK, I learned something.  While waiting for a replacement to appear, I went into the SL Diaspora in the Metaverse and was able to keep blogging until I could get back inworld.  I was impressed by all who helped me during this time and sent me their messages of support to me. 

But what about the future?  I’ve been writing so much about the past, what do the next twelve months look like.  There will be changes.  (At least I hope there will be!)  I will go back and revisit old friends whom I haven’t seen since I last wrote about them.  While I am a wanderer, I feel bad that I don’t return often enough to those who have helped me along the way.  Hence, be warned, I’m coming back. 

I will push the edges of the envelope more.  Recently, I was at a nudist function in 1920’s Berlin  and I’ve also been spending time with the BDSM community inworld.   I see opportunities for more blogs in those veins.  Don’t worry, I won’t become That Kind of Blog as Glorf Bulmer would say.  Although, who knows?  Maybe there could be Another Blog of That Kind?

The frequency of posts will increase.  I can’t commit to a number yet but there will be more.  I will also be using more social media to attract more readers.

I will try to use my blog to help across the broader community inworld such as the Occupy SL movement.  Much can be done to help residents with their RL issues. 

Finally, I will continue to seek out new places and new friends inworld and bring these experiences to my readers.  One of these topics will be SL relationships that crossed over into RL.  I also want to track down Bunky and talk with him. 

I want to thank all those who have helped me and guided me along my way over the course of the last twelve months.  The list is too long to write but I thank each and every one of you.  What I am truly grateful for is how each of you opened yourselves up and gave me something which I could share with the broader group. 

As always, I’m grateful to all for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives. 

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

     If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.

Still Among the Submissives!

There’s something very sexy about being submissive.  Because your guard is down, you have to totally surrender to something like that.

Eva Longoria

Last week I continued my journey in the BDSM community in Second Life (SL) by visiting some clubs inworld with a friend.  (Surprisingly, she’s still talking to me.)  Earlier blogs had me visiting with SL submissives, Flame Tearfall, and Anu Sands.  This week I visit with another sub, Akasha Sternberg.  (I know, I know, when am I going to interview a dom or a domme, or the ever elusive switch?  I’m working on it and will have some soon.)

I met Akasha a short while ago while making my way through the SL community in the Metaverse.  She’s been a regular reader of my blogs for a while.  We began talking and I learned that she was involved with the BDSM lifestyle inworld.  Initially, Akasha was reluctant to be quoted in an interview about BDSM because she is trying to establish herself as a model in SL and was concerned about the repercussions of being associated with BDSM.  Then, recently, she IM’d me and said that she had to be who she was and if anyone didn’t like it then tough. She agreed to do the interview.  (SL may be a virtual world but society’s pressures seem to be the same whether inworld or in Real Life (RL).)  We scheduled a time for the interview and I’m pleased to bring Akasha’s story to my readers in this blog. 

Akasha and I meet at her office at the Ataahua Oceanic Modeling Agency Headquarters.  It´s a fairly young agency and she’s one of the directors.  Rank has its privileges even in SL.  The offices are nicely appointed in an Asian motif.  (At least, I think it’s Asian.  Apologies if the designer had something else in mind.)  Akasha is dressed casually and sits on a cushion on the floor while I take a chair.  (No, I’m not trying to assert dominance, it’s just that I still have problems with sitting and furniture inworld.)  Akasha is OOC for this interview. 

We begin by speaking about her involvement with BDSM in SL.  Akasha explains she’s only slightly involved with the lifestyle inworld.  She’s had a few owners, was partnered to one but never went through any training, was a slave or “something”.  Her experiences have been more role playing based.

               Akasha’s SL profile indicates she is interested in being a switch and I next ask her about this.  She explains that basically, yes, though most recently she seems to turn more and more into a sub because she doesn’t have the slightest motivation in being the top. She received an offer the other day to be the top and it made her laugh because the thought was so off to her. Akasha has switched with her RL boyfriend in the past, or rather started as the Dom part but, she likes the sub-side better.  Even though she claims to be very “bratty” (her word not mine) and will never be a slave or even a doormat.  (I still have a lot to learn about the various degrees of submission.)  Laughing, Akasha adds that she does have her “dommy” moments though. 

I’m having a hard time classifying her.  (What’d you expect?  I’m a writer, everyone and everything has to fit neatly somewhere.)  I tell her that she seems to fall somewhere in the middle.  Akasha replies that those moments are rare and she feels more like a sub.  However, those "Masters" and "Doms" who expect every female to drop to their knees and call them Sir, eyes tilted to the floor - those trigger her dom-side. She’s dismissive of those who think they´re everybody´s walking dream ....and forget that submission is a gift that has to be deserved and earned.  This is not a woman to be trifled with I’m learning. 

My next question is whether BDSM for her in SL is just role play, or is there an emotional/sexual side.  Akasha says that it’s role play and of course it triggers emotions but it also gives her ideas - either for stories or things she´ll try out in RL or maybe even a blog entry (which wouldn´t be aimed at THAT (Akasha’s emphasis) particular situation) but it could become just an item that springs to her mind, an image, an emotion that triggers the idea of an outfit or an item or whatever.

I then ask her whether she came to BDSM in SL from RL or was it the other way around.  Akasha says actually BDSM was why she came back to SL after a three and a half year break.  She wanted to find new impulses, ideas and stuff to try in RL.  SL has become “muuuuuch” more for her though and while she hasn’t had any BDSM recently, it was the reason she came back and she wouldn´t want to leave it completely.

          We then turn to whether Akasha is now wearing a collar and has she worn one before.  She is wearing a collar and she has been officially collared three times.  Though, she is always a primary owner in both OpenCollar and Tokon.  She is very careful which rights she gives.  Usually she does have more rights than her owner but she does always have the same rights as her owner as a minimum. As of now she is not owned by anybody.  She is single in any form there could be (SL wise) and is owned by herself. Her personal group has access to her collar as long as she does not have anybody claiming her exclusively (Because she doesn´t do poly stuff or share.  Mine is mine, she adds), What she is wearing she wore because it was the necklace that matches best with her outfit. Akasha does have protectors that care about her and watch over her, they play but usually do not use the collar. RLV is deactivated and would only be active if she really felt like it and is with someone she trusts deeply.

I then ask the question that Akasha says she has been dreading, what is BDSM to her?  I mention that some subs talk of the freedom experienced.  I want to know her viewpoint. 

               To Akasha, BDSM is all about trust and she emphasizes this.  She says that she learns about herself, the human psychology, others, and it can be a stress relief. (Though she adds “We all know - don´t take your anger out on your sub...”). She has learned to accept her darker sides more, grow more confident and sometimes she adds, certain agreements (‘ten spanks if that and that isn´t done... or something’) can help her focus (so do "good girl spanks"). 

               I return to Akasha’s comment about her “darker sides” and ask about these. 

          She laughs as she replies that it’s how the majority of humans see them and how quite a lot see BDSM as screaming and whip cracking and whatnot  - not knowing there is much more to it. But of course, she continues, there are thinks like edge play (blood, fire, ice, knifes...) that can trigger things that could be considered dark.

I then ask her what are her favorite practices inworld.  She replies the good old bare bottom spanks (the oldies are always the best) and maybe a little blood play, mind games, sensoral deprivary, it´s the mix that counts for Akasha.

When she engages in these, is it all role play I continue with the questioning.  When she’s being spanked inworld, is she being spanked in RL?

Akasha replies no. Her RL boyfriend knows what she’s doing in SL and if he thinks I do too much he just claims her in RL. Other than that if he sees Akasha’s screen and sees her being spanked all he does is ask her “What the hell I did this time?”  She is laughing throughout this part of the interview.  (I have so much to learn here.) 

               I know our interview is drawing to an end as I hit my favorite questions about what the interviewee likes best and least inworld. In this case, I ask these of Akasha concerning BDSM.

         
               For what she likes, Akasha says that it is like a library but an interactive one with easy access to more and more knowledge.  Not all experiences one makes are good (her three owners turned out to be fails, same with the BDSM related clubs she’s gone to.) But, still she has found interesting things inworld.

                As for what Akasha doesn’t like about BDSM inworld, she speaks of people whining "if you´re taken in RL you cannot have someone in SL", "collarsluts" of both genders that just collect subs (many subs I meet talk of this type and usually not favorably) or get collared by collectors, those "Masters" and "Doms" she mentioned earlier, not paying attention to their looks or behavior but expecting subs to kneel because they are the Dom and the sub female.  These are the things that bother Akasha about BDSM in SL. 

This leads to my question about whether she encounters much sexism inworld.  Akasha says she does and adds that she can’t say she’s been innocent in that regard either.  She feels she is better with males in any world, life, situation so some of her views are misogynistic, but being the special illogical creature she is, she excludes herself and few well-chosen gals,  - as the exception to the rule so to speak.  (Please don’t write in and say I’m sexist, I’m taking Akasha’s comments here.)  I ask her if any of her owners have ever been dommes and Akasha replies in the negative and says that she would never submit to a female or role play with one. 

At this point, I thank Akasha and take my leave of her.  I’m still a little perplexed as to how to describe her.  She’s very much her own person and calls the shots in her relationships from what I can see.  Maybe Akasha said it best herself when she said, “I act up at times and talk back and whats (sic) not, but I´m the sub.  I call myself a bratty sub.”   

I’d like to thank Akasha Sternberg for taking the time to meet with me and to talk about her life in the SL BDSM community.  I’m especially grateful to her for how she opened herself up and talked about herself inworld.  For me, Akasha is another example of the SL resident who has a real life (not RL) inworld and is sensitive about the feelings of others and not just her own. 

As always, I’m grateful to all for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives. 

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

     If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.

Photo No. 1: Akasha Sternberg I

Photo No. 2: Akasha Sternberg II

Photo No. 3: Akasha Sternberg III