Sex and the Single Avatar in Second Life IV: More BDSM Clubbing in Second Life

You must submit to supreme suffering in order to discover the completion of joy.

John Calvin

          It’s been a while since I’ve gone clubbing in the BDSM scene in Second Life (SL).  After an earlier story on BDSM clubs, Marine Kelley, creator and developer of the RLV viewer and collar, had sent me a list of new BDSM clubs to visit inworld on my next night out.  So, I decided to check some of these out.

          I check in with my naturist friend, Ilse Runo, to see if she’d be interested in a night out and she agrees readily.  (After our last escapade together, I think she’s just curious to see what mayhem I cause next.)  

          Our first stop is the Heavy Bondage Club.  Ilse and I arrive in front of a large building with a few residents about.  We’re standing next to an enclosure for pony play and stables are nearby.  We enter the building and find various pieces of BDSM devices scattered across the floor. A bar is in a far corner.  Unfortunately, most of the devices appear to require a collar to use (or is it enjoy?)  Since I don’t wear one, I can’t check out any.  Ilse, on the other hand, rummages through her inventory and finds a collar and begins to try some of the equipment. BDSM artwork hangs on the walls. 

          We go downstairs to visit the dungeon and cells, finding the usual offerings of restraints and bondage devices.  Ilse doesn’t appear to like the cages.  (Probably fearful that I’ll get us locked in without a key.)  A rubber room is available for those who like that sort of thing.  Several couples are involved in their own private sessions and ignore as we pass through.  (Amazing people’s focus as they go about their business oblivious to others around them, another intriguing aspect of SL I believe.)

          After wandering around for a bit, Ilse and I decide to move onto our next destination, Bondage Ranch.  We TP into a large arrival area dominated by a map offering TP’s to just about every type of BDSM imaginable.  This area overlooks a shopping mall dedicated to BDSM. 

          Unfortunately, Ilse is now experiencing some pretty horrendous lag and we have to make a quick decision to visit a shibari (Japanese rope bondage) sim to try and avoid the problem.  But Ilse’s lag problems continue to deteriorate and we have to go back. 

          A quick discussion leads us to the conclusion that we have to move on in hopes of finding a more receptive sim.  Ilse and I TP to Dark Wishes.  Dark Wishes meets my expectation of what a BDSM club/sim should be like. 

          A large, dark, brooding castle looms over the arrival zone as we rezz in.  A courtyard with various pieces of BDSM equipment can be seen in front of us.  Behind us, a small village, a harbor, and an interesting looking pathway leads into a woods which seems to have promise.  I do know that there is a maze inside the castle. 

          Sadly, Ilse’s lag problems are getting worse.  She is immobile (this is a technical issue and not a bondage one) and has to leave and relog back in.  By the time Ilse’s back, Real Life (RL) commitments take her away again. 

          Ilse’s and my BDSM clubbing expedition brought us to several interesting clubs.  Unfortunately, Ilse’s lag issues prevented us from seeing as much as we wanted and checking out the sims’ features. Oddly, I didn’t experience anything like the lag that she did.  I’m still not sure how Linden Lab (LL) is maintaining the grid but after this experience and a recent gaff when the US set the clocks back for Daylight Savings Time (DST) and the whole grid seemed to be knocked offline I think I’ve got an opportunity for a story series on the quality of the resident experience inworld.  Stay tuned for more. 

           I was able to make a few observations from this brief trip.  First, there are many BDSM clubs/sims inworld offering a variety of devices to enhance practitioners’ experiences.  Next, I’m not seeing communities in these clubs.  I see individuals or couples but not the group dynamic I’ve encountered in other journeys.  In fairness, maybe I haven’t visited enough or have arrived at the wrong times.  Finally, I haven’t seen many visitors which makes me wonder how long these sims may remain open.   

          I’d like to thank Ilse for taking the time to join me on my journey and her patience in enduring her lag issues to stay with me as long as she did.  I hope to see her with me on future journeys.

          Below are links to a few pictures from the sims we visited.  They give a sense of what they’re like.  But you really have to see and experience them for yourselves.

As always, I’m grateful to all for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives.

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

     If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.

Photo No. 1 Ilse Runo

Photo No. 2 Heavy Bondage Club Entrance

Photo No. 3 Heavy Bondage Club Pony Play Area

Photo No. 4 Heavy Bondage Club Dungeon Entrance

Photo No. 5 Heavy Bondage Club Dungeon Cages

Photo No. 6 Bondage Ranch Map

Photo No. 7 Bondage Ranch – View from Arrival Area

Photo No. 8 Dark Wishes Arrival Area

Photo No. 9 Dark Wishes Village and Harbor

Photo No. 10 Dark Wishes Castle Main Hall

Photo No. 11 Dark Wishes Maze Entrance

Photo No. 12 Dark Wishes Covered Bridge into the Woods

My Second Life Makeover I

My aim is to achieve sustainable change, not just make a cute little makeover. 

Jamie Oliver

          Just recently, I wrote my one hundredth story about my journeys across Second Life (SL) and shortly before that I had celebrated one year as an inworld blogger.  This got me thinking about my inworld appearance.  I need a makeover.  (Significant Other thinks I need one in Real Life (RL) too but that’s another story.)  Right now, the best way to describe me is to say I look like a virtual version of Barbie’s boyfriend Ken.

          To be fair, I’ve had encouragement from SL friends who have subtly (OK, maybe some weren’t so subtle.) suggested that I lose the noob look and get some credibility.  (I also got the sense that I’d be less embarrassing to be around.)  Ilse Runo suggests that people might react more favorably to me if I didn’t look all the time like I’d just stepped out of the SL arrival center. 

          Hints have been made about my hair, my skin, my clothes, and my eyes (which are staying red no matter what).  Admittedly, when I first came to SL, one of my goals was to go “freebie” and not spend any more RL money than I had to.  However, like most things in life, spending a little money can enhance the experience. 

          One SL blogger whose work I read all the time and whom I respect has been chided online for not updating his look for the latest fashions and technologies inworld.  (Sticking to my rule of not being negative I won’t reveal his name.) 

So, it’s not like folks are just ganging up on me.  But I’ve now become sufficiently self-conscious of my inworld looks that I’m ready for that makeover. 

          Where to begin? 

          Fortunately, unlike when I first stumbled into SL, I now have friends who patiently try to advise me and steer me away from my own pitiful choices.  GraciAnne Harte, a successful model inworld, has given me lists of suitable merchants and has taken me shopping.  The amount of choices available is simply overwhelming to me. 

          Ilse actually took the bull by the horns recently and selected a new skin for me which I purchased. (Yes, I actually spent some Linden $’s).  My new skin also comes with some new clothes which, let’s just say, makes me look more contemporary.  She then brought me along to a shop where I could buy some new hair.  This experience taught me a lot that I didn’t know about style and fashion in SL.

Ilse next TP’s me to EMO-tions  an upscale hair shop inworld.  There are a myriad of choices here for men, women, and unisex.  Never being known for quick decisions, I eventually make a selection.  I then learn how to demo a product in SL.  Without Ilse’s help, I’d still be there trying to figure it out.  (Why can’t they just put up a sign that says you purchase the item for 0L$ if you want to try it on?)  We make progress.

          Once I get past trying my new hair on, I buy the hairpiece and wait for it to show up which it eventually does.  Here is where I begin to learn about how one fits one’s self out in SL.  Unlike the freebie stuff I’d just grab ‘n go with previously, I need to have myself fitted or “resized”.  Like when Ilse asks me where my poser is and I go “Huh?”.  Ilse is a very patient woman.  My next problem is that I can’t open my new hairpiece in my home because I’ve somehow bumped up against my prim limits!  (How I did this is beyond me, there’ll be a story on this topic soon, trust me.)

          With Ilse’s help we eventually end up back at EMO-tions where I use their poser to try and put on my hair.  Let’s just say this was a frustrating and unsuccessful process.  Needless to say, I still have a lot to learn.  My first experience with edit mode has makes me appreciate what’s involved in making a good SL appearance.  (Also, have I said Ilse is a very patient woman?) 

          This is my key takeaway this week inworld.  I’ve taken for granted what’s involved with SL style and fashion since I first rezzed in.  My experience with freebies made me say what’s the big deal? My experience with buying and trying to resize a hairpiece has taught me otherwise.  No wonder the fashionistas take a dim view of noobie wannabes like myself.  It takes hard work and time to work at a good appearance inworld.  (It’s only taken me just under two years to come to this realization.)  As with most things in SL, the things worth doing aren’t easy. 

          What’s next?  Well, I have to figure out how to put on my new hairpiece and use edit mode.  Then I’m on for new eyes (red) and some new clothes.  Also, some new tattoos.  (Sorry Ilse!) 

          In case you’re wondering why I’m not revealing any in progress shots or mentioning products, I’m still a work in progress.  The big reveal will happen in a few weeks.  Stay tuned!  Any suggestions or help (like with edit) would be greatly appreciated! 

          I’d like to thank Ilse and Graci for their help and patience in assisting me through my makeover process.  All mistakes and gaffes are solely my responsibility and are probably the result of my not taking the very good, useful, and sane advice I’ve received from both of them. 

           As always, I’m grateful to all for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives.

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

     If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.

Photo No. 1 webspelunker – My Usual Look

Photo No. 2 webspelunker – Headshot

Photo No. 3 EMO-tions I

Photo No. 4 EMO-tions II

Photo No. 5 EMO-tions III

Sex and the Single Avatar in Second Life III: Nudity Does Not Mean Sex

I'm not for gratuitous nudity, but if there's humor, I don't have a problem.

 

Rebecca Romijn

 

I’m now at the third story in my series, Sex and the Single Avatar in Second Life.  So far, so good.  Traffic has been decent.  (Can always be better, feel free to distribute the link if you like my stories!)  Reader feedback has been favorable.  I guess I’ll keep writing!  As with my first story when a reader, Tiff Aristocrat, reached out to me and led me to my second story during the course of researching Paradise Sex Beach for that story I met someone who led me to write this story. 

Her name is Ilse Runo and I met her while she was sunbathing au natural on a beach at Paradise Sex Beach. Turns out, Ilse is a naturist in Real Life (RL) too.  This story is about her observations about the differences between naturism in Second Life (SL) and RL.  

Before we do that, some background to help the newly arrived.  For those of you who don’t know me, I’m a writer and explorer in SL.  I write about my travels across the grid and the people I meet and the experiences I have. (Usually involving me in some sort of embarrassing or ridiculous situation.)  My RL Significant Other patiently supports me in my efforts to become a famous blogger of the Metaverse.  She also greatly appreciates the anonymity of SL, less explaining to family and friends.  This story is the third in a series where I explore human sexuality in SL which I’m finding is something of a growth industry inworld.  I’m also finding that there’s a lot going on with the emotional side as well.  I’ll blog more about that in the future.

I strive for standards, nothing tawdry or lascivious.  There’s always Literotica for that.  I always quote my friend, Glorf Bulmer, as she would say, this won’t become that kind of blog.  Me?  I want to be informative and humorous and I always keep Bette Davis’ words in mind when writing in this series, “Sex is God’s joke on human beings.”

          Since arriving in SL, I’ve been noticing that nudity is fairly common in SL. I had my first encounters with nudity in the 1920’s Berlin sim and then ended up writing about naturism at the Wild Coast Naturist Resort.  At the latter I learned about the distinction inworld between nudity and naturism in SL.  Naturism (Caution, this link contains RL nudity.) in RL is more about enjoying being nude for its own sake and experiencing nature while in a state of undress.  Nudity in SL has more of a connotation of sex.  Here’s where I start talking with Ilse. 

          I begin our interview by asking her how long has she been a naturist in RL.  She replies her whole life adding that she guesses it runs in the family.  Being nude and being one with nature is what attracted her to the lifestyle. 

          Ilse started to look for naturist sites in SL because she enjoyed it in RL.  She laughs when she tells me that the big difference between naturism in RL and SL is that nudity is associated more with sex inworld than in RL. 

          I ask if the inworld sexuality ever become rude or aggressive.  Ilse says yes if that’s what someone wants but sometimes people are very pushy about trying to have their own way.  In fact, she belongs to a SL group dedicated to the idea that nudity does not mean sex. 

The next question is an obvious one for me, why does Ilse go to Paradise Sex Beach when there is so much sex in the open?  Ilse replies that it’s a really nice sim and there are really nice people to talk to.  Does the overtly sexual behavior bother her?  Ilse giggles as she says no it doesn’t and what can she do because is a sex beach after all?  (Ilse’s pretty open minded I have to say.) 

          I ask Ilse if there are other true naturist sites in SL like Wild Coast and does she visit them?  She lists Bare Naked Angels, Lupe's Magic Forest and Naturist Island.  Ilse doesn’t go to Wild Coast anymore because of the lag she experienced there.   

          My next questions have to do with what else Ilse does in SL.  She replies that talking with her naturist friends and getting to know them better, exploring places (which I find many are doing) and, of course, shopping.  (Ilse claims that she knew I was a guy in RL because of my limited interest in shopping.) Ilse used to build a lot inworld but finds she no longer has the time. 

My last question for Ilse is are naturists migrating to more sexually open behavior in SL or staying traditional over time in SL?  She smiles as she replies that yes she thinks so because for many people going nude is the same as having sex. 

          After my talks with Ilse, I had some time to think about what she’s said.  We both agree that many people do things in SL that they would never do in RL.  Unlike Ilse, I’m not a naturist in RL.  I believe that the anonymity of SL makes people feel safe and that they can get away with things inworld that they couldn’t in RL.  Sadly, this probably also applies to the coarsening of manners and social norms which is becoming all too common in RL these days.  (And, no, I don’t think it’s because I’m hanging around with a bad crowd.  Significant Other keeps a tight rein on my RL social life.) 

          I have no solutions here.  I’m merely writing about what I observe and I hear.  But, like many bad behaviors whether in SL or RL, they can only continue when we, yes “we”, permit them to happen and don’t call out the culprits.  If you see rude behavior, step up, and call it out.  This isn’t RL where you have to worry about getting punched in the mouth.  The target of the rudeness will appreciate it and I’ll guarantee you’ll feel better for it.     

          I would to thank Ilse for her time and hospitality.  I would also like to thank her for her candor and opening up to me with her answers.     

          In future stories in this series, I’ll continue to write about these different aspects of human sexuality in SL.  And, yes, I do mean human because as many continually remind inworld there’s a real person with real feelings behind that avatar we’re interacting with. 

          I welcome anyone who would like to share their experiences or opinions of SL sexuality with me.  I’d like to include these in my future stories in this series.  I look forward to hearing from you! 

As always, I’m grateful to all for their kindness and time in stopping to talk with a stranger who was passing through their lives.

Below are a few pictures of the places in SL that I visited for this story.  And, no, there is neither nudity nor activity of a sexual nature contained therein.  If you want to see that then you’ll have to go there yourself! 

I welcome feedback from readers, please either comment on my blog or e-mail me at webspelunker@gmail.com . 

     If you would like to read about my other adventures in Second Life please click here.

Photo No. 1 Ilse Runo

Photo No. 2 Paradise Sex Beach

Photo No. 3 Wild Coast Naturist Resort

Photo No. 4 Island of Bare Naked Angels